Itch to Scratch

If you pay attention to sports in this area, you'd know that the Phillies just kicked off the baseball season. You'd know that the Sixers, in spite of lacking a true super-star and picked by most experts to be bottom dwellers in the East, have turned things around with an impressive young nucleus of players and are in the playoff hunt. Ditto for the Flyers, who went from the worst record in the league last year to being a possible playoff team this year.

We're approaching one of the busiest periods in sports, where one season begins and two others move into the hunt to crown a champion.

And yet, I'm excited about football.

As a general sports fan, I'm somewhat embarrassed, but I can't help it. The free agency period has been active, teams have been making moves and rosters are taking shape. Plus, one of my favorite events of the year, the NFL draft, is quickly approaching (April 26th, mark the calendar!) and with it the chance to see someone I know personally get drafted, on the first day no less (a couple different websites have Flacco going to either Atlanta or Baltimore in the first half of the second round, and no, this still just doesn't seem real).

With the owners meeting ending this past weekend, and compensatory picks awarded to finalize the draft, here are some lingering football thoughts. . . you know, in case you really cared:

Owners Meeting - As far as I can tell, there was no decision made by the owners on the current issue with the CBA, which means that we'll probably have to wait till the last minute in November to find out whether football will be dead in 3 years. In the current agreement with the players union signed two years ago, there was an option for the owners to opt out in 2008, which would translate to business as usual in '08 and '09, an uncapped season in 2010, and then football's funeral in 2011. The owners have found that the increase in revenue funneled to players (now 60%) and an escalating cap are severely cutting into profits and creating a situation where players are being compensated too much.

Surprisingly, I agree with the owners on this one, although I sincerely hope they can find a way to resolve the issue as soon as possible, and not to just save the sport, but also the cap. I love the salary cap, in every form in every sport, because it financially levels the playing field and promotes good economics by the teams. If the cap goes away in 2011, the players will fight tooth and nail to make sure it never comes back, and then we'll have baseball (I'm throwing up a little in my mouth right now). Being a fan of one of the Big Five franchises in the league, you'd think that I'd welcome an uneven playing field where the wealthier teams can field all-star rosters, but you'd be wrong. Very wrong.

Rule Changes - When they aren't discussing the future of football at the owners meetings, they are voting on proposed rule changes in the league. The rules that were changed can be found here, and there are three that I have issue with:

1. The force-out rule should have never been removed. Coaches complained that it was too subjective, but so are half the rules that the refs have to enforce, so why is this one any different. In my mind, it's ridiculous to say that if a receiver is jumping to catch a ball, all a defender has to do is shove him out of bounds while in flight to nullify the catch. To me, the worry now is that we'll see offensive coordinators and QBs around the league shy away from pass plays to the sidelines, as defenses will now have a much easier time defending such plays.

2. The elimination of the 5-yard facemask penalty is a concern. Watching games last season, Phil and I would often complain about how quickly 15-yarders were handed out for penalties that looked to be of the incidental, 5-yard variety. It was a rule that was often unenforced, which to me was always an issue of misinterpretation by the officials. Now the motivation behind this rule change is that if a defender grabs the facemask incidentally and quickly lets go, then the referees are not going to call a penalty, but if they couldn't even distinguish that as a 5-yard penalty before, why are they going to be able to do so now. The real issue with the rule was that the difference between the two penalties was clearly not understood well enough by officials, but rather than the league addressing that issue, they simply removed the rule. I hope that they really will just let the incidental stuff go, but I won't be surprised at all if we still see the flags fly, with game-changing consequences.

3. A rule that was not changed was the proposed ban on hair player hair length, which I'm happy about as long as they don't make it illegal to get tackled by the hair. If the league wants guys like Troy Polamalu to hide the hair under the helmet for safety reasons or to just present a cleaner image to the public, then I'm fine with that. John Smallwood of the Daily News recently addressed this issue:

Still, some might view these things as freedom of expression issues. They aren't.

Many constitutional freedoms are to protect citizens from intrusion of government, not private industries. More important, people often confuse freedom of speech and expression with meaning that saying or doing whatever you want is without cost.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Chalk it up to a uniform issue. Instead, the owners decided to pass on the rule and not risk confrontation with some of their more prominent stars, and that's fine too. At the same time, if you want to have a flowing mane of hair that reaches the small of your back, I don't want any complaints if a chasing defender dives to catch you and only comes up with a bundle of hair to bring you down. Chalk THAT up to an occupational hazard.

Compensatory Picks - I love the compensatory system. You let players go, sign others to replace them, and based on the salaries and impacts of players coming and going, the league uses a mysterious system to award teams additional, untradable draft picks in compensations. The most a team can get is 4, and the Eagles snagged three in this years upcoming draft. This means they will have 11 picks overall in the draft, putting them in a good position to move up in a few places and grab some better talent. By the way, you know you really have a football obsession when you not only know what the hell a compensatory pick is, but you also look forward to them being announced.

The Draft - As I mentioned, Flacco is probably getting drafted in the second round, which will be a surreal event. Considering most of the people that read this are from Audubon, I doubt this even needs to be addressed (for the record, and mark this down, let me make it clear that I will not root for Joe if he finds himself on the Cowboys roster, and I will not budge on this).

Currently, I'm strongly considering taking off from work so I can watch the first day, something I love to do. Two issues that would arise would be where I'd watch the draft and whether I should rock the live draft blog again, to which I'm leaning towards yes.

Either way, it'll be a funky adventure.

My Friend Pterry

I'm usually pretty good with words, and most times I have little difficulty deciding how to start writing about the topic de jour. On top of that, you could certainly qualify me as opinionated. So why am I having trouble starting this entry?

Because Paris Hilton just bothers me that much. She's been the topic of quite a few conversations with friends, both men and women, and it feels like every time I see her face on TV or in a magazine, my opinion of her grows stronger and stronger. Needless to say, I don't particularly like her, and frankly, I'd be surprised if anyone I know disagrees.

She's a snobby, spoiled and selfish Uber trust-fund baby who's accomplished nothing in life but getting trashed, making sex tapes, and globe trotting her way in front of cameras with more look-at-me desperation than I've ever seen. She is the poster child for entitlement; a quality of my generation that has been nurtured by the "you're so special" adults desperately wanting to instill their children with confidence and a quality that I've come to despise. She's helped create a culture where fame is the ultimate goal in life for young people, not achievement, and it's that material driven culture that has placed her on her little pedestal and continues to feed her undeserved need for attention. In a perfect world, I'd be able to make someone like Paris go away and just disappear.

So you could imagine how delighted I was to discover a volcano brewing right in my backyard!

Yeah, that's right. With magma.

And that's not even the best part. While exploring my new surroundings and determining how best to utilize my volcano, near the base I found what looked to be a dinosaur egg. I held on to it, and sure enough, it hatched into a very healthy, very righteous, and very omnipotent Pterodactyl. His name is Pterry (not very original, I know, but Pterry the Pterodactyl has a nice ring to it).

Now I'm not condoning violence, but the fact is that Pterry does come from a very cut-throat time and has a mind of his own. Luckily for me, Pterry is a loyal pet who would never hurt me or the people I love and care about, but on the flip side, he has a nasty habit of delivering swift justice on those who consistently draw my ire.

So it's with a heavy heart that I inform those reading that during the night Pterry, without asking me whether it was a good idea or not, went out and saw "The Hottie and The Nottie" and absolutely lost it, flew to L.A. in a fit of rage, grabbed a half naked and loaded Paris and dropped her right in my volcano. I want to assure you that not only did I scold him for acting so impulsively (though I have to admit, I admire his moxy) but that the lazy eye was there before he even touched her.

Anyway, while Paris was the first, it turns out she wasn't the last. Pterry is a very active dinosaur and very impressionable, so he took it upon himself to help his friend out and make some other people go away:

Britney Spears - I could handle the teen pop queen, even if her face was a little too visible and her music a little too horrible. But this new Britney had to go. She's shaving her head, flashing the V while getting out of cars, taking drugs, partying late (with Paris no less), and losing her kids to Kevin Federline. Yes, that's right, the fact a court judge actually decreed that K-Fed was more able to raise children then ANY human being on the planet is insane! Britney, why are you spending more money on clothes each month than on child support? Do you even care about seeing your kids? Are you even coherent right now? I guess not anymore.

**And for the record, you people that eat up the Britney and Paris news and feed this damn machine better get your act together or Pterry will be making house calls**

Peyton Manning - Sorry Colts fans, but is there a bigger self-promoter out there right now? Listen, it's nothing personal, and believe it or not, it's not even because I dislike you as a player (this has already been covered). It's because of the shameless gusto with which you've put your face and name on every commercial product under the sun. Hey, that's great that you donate the proceeds from your endorsement deals to charity, but have you no limit or shame? There was a time when you were a camera-shy dork of sorts, and for awhile it was endearing. Then the self-deprecating humorous commercials started rolling and you became America's sweetheart. Now you're nothing more than a salesman, and a poor one at that. Way to become slave to 'The Man' and his shiny picture box. . . wait, did I just see you speed licking Oreos??? Toss 'em Pterry.

Eagles fans who championed the Giants leading up to the Super Bowl - It seems Pterry has gone digital and checked the old blog archives. You all deserve it.

Matthew McConaughey - Why has so much been given to someone of such little substance? Let's get real here for a second and agree that "Dazed and Confused" is a tad bit overrated anyway and that it would be embarrassing for anyone in the acting community to be remembered for that minor role as their career achievement. After checking out IMDB, I spotted two movies that were genuinely good ("A Time to Kill" and "Amistad"), both flix in which he played an emotionally driven southern lawyer. Aside from that, the kid's got a long list of nothing. And for Christ's sake, Matt, put your damn shirt back on! All you're good for is inspiration for YouTube clips.

Crappy drivers - The good news is that Pterry, while having good intentions and certainly a dinosaur of his word, didn't realize just how many terrible drivers there are out there (I conservatively estimate 50% of the population would qualify). The bad news is that Pterry is very determined, so he's told me he'll keep a constant vigil until the job is done, so if you haven't been suddenly snatched out of thin air for texting while driving, take this warning as a second chance at life. Since I have no idea just how much you have to do to be viewed as a crappy driver, just cover all your bases.

That means: using your turn signals, especially when sitting at a red light before making a left; turn your headlights on when it's dark, raining, or both; quit stopping at yield signs when trying to merge onto a busy highway with cars whizzing by at 60 plus; passing traffic on the shoulder; and most importantly, passing people when in the left lane and making sure to get into the right lane when someone is coming up behind you, regardless of if you think they are going too fast.

Well right now, Pterry is fast asleep after a busy day. With any luck, the people he tossed in my volcano aren't hurt too bad and might one day climb their way out and set things right. But as sure as there are people in this world that annoy the crap out of me, Pterry will be out there trying to make things right.

Southern Blues

In the last week, I've lost my girlfriend for the next two months to her final clinical for school, had my bank screw up my checking account, and had my car broken into and my radio stolen. On the bright side, I spent last weekend in Florida with the Lady.

For the record, a winter trip to the wang of the country doesn't even come close to making up for the other shit going on in my life right now, but it's all I've got to cling to if I don't want to have a nervous breakdown, so I'll take it.

So while I've got a couple things planned for the next month on here (SPOILER!- one involves a volcano!), I thought I'd share a couple of vacation pictures with ya. Enjoy.

While everyone was looking out their windows in the cold and dreary northeast, this is what I was looking at.
Taking a bike ride in the neighborhood with the Lady.
Some of the neighbors. For reasons still unknown, there were live chickens hanging around on people's lawns too. I feel like you need to know this.
All the houses were as extravagant as this one, and they all look out onto the river. The ocean was only a few miles away.
There were oranges growing in the backyard! The entire time I knew I was in Florida, yet this somehow always amazed me.
The sun rising from the ocean on the morning of my birthday.
Went back to Cocoa beach after lunch to spend the day, producing one of the lasting images to hang on to for the next two months.

Sweet (less) Release

I sincerely hope that one day people will look back on the recent writer's strike and realize how ridiculous everyone was. Christ almighty, these last three months made me feel as if I'd been whisked away by some magical force, back in time, to when Americans felt fear and anger at the ongoing Iranian hostage crisis. Was Ted Koppel opening the evening news with "day 46 of the writer's strike" or was that just my imagination? I mean, how can we possibly function as a society when new episodes of LOST and Ugly Betty are in doubt?!?! Between the strike, the blowhards in Hollywood supporting their "brothers in arms" like wounded veterans, and the front page crotch-shots from Brittney, you begin to see how we're able to piss off so many people around the world.

Anyway, two weeks ago a deal was reached and a national crisis was averted; writers left picket lines and went back to work, production began on new episodes and movies, and once again children were able to smile. It all culminated tonight with the airing of the Oscars (oh boy). As the lords and ladies of pretend played dress up, patting each other on the back and awarding eachother with painted phallic symbols, two thoughts ran through my mind:

1. What the hell actually happened here? - Par for the course, most people knew about the strike, worried about it, and didn't have a damn clue what it was actually about. The short version is that the writers guild wanted double in residuals, increased jurisdiction, and compensation for streaming and downloadable online entertainment. Claiming they would take nothing short of a full victory, the writers hoped to put the squeeze on production companies such as CBS and Paramount Pictures with no new content to push on advertisers. These corporations began slowly airing already taped shows, added new reality programs to the mix (including the long overdue return of American Gladiator, which is deserving of its own post), and used the strike as an opportunity to cut the dead weight of failed shows and restructure their businesses. As the insanely rich weathered the storm, viewership dropped marginally as writers began to feel the weight of lost finances. Resolve began to waiver, voices of dissent rose from within (in a union where membership is forced, what a surprise), and in the end they settled for a 50/50 compromise.

So what actually happened here? The way I see it, the writers lost three months of pay because they thought they could win a game of chicken with a bunch of corporate heads who made their millions by being shrewd business men. The writers swerved first, settled for what they were essentially offered from the start, and now we're supposed to applaud.2. Oh the Irony - While everyone got all worked up about Hollywood shutting down, an amazing thing happened: I found myself in the middle of the best 12 month movie stretch that I've EVER seen. Now I'll grant you the obvious, that all these movies were completed long before the strike ever came to be, but that doesn't take away from the fact that while the writers hoped for consumer outrage, studios were unleashing an impressive group of quality movies.

In fact, it was in the midst of the strike that, for the first time in my life, there were three movies out that I legitimately wanted to see in theaters. It all started this past summer when the latest installment of Harry Potter, Spiderman 3 and Transformers came out within a 30 day period (headlined by 'Potter' for me, they ranged from excellent to pretty good). Since then, there's been:

No Country For Old Men (by far my favorite movie of the year)
I Am Legend (very excited to see)
Cloverfield (groundbreaking and suspenseful)
Juno (great movie that wasn't on my radar)
Eastern Promises (ditto)
American Gangster (not quite as powerful as Eastern Promises, but still a very good mob film)
3:10 To Yuma (best western in a long time)

Amazingly, each one was at worst a solid B+. This doesn't even cover the fact that there was an interesting re-release that I missed out on (Blade Runner) and four other movies that I'm still looking forward to seeing sometime soon (There Will Be Blood, Golden Compass, 10,000 B.C., Gone Baby Gone). Lastly, I'm drooling in anticipation of two more movies that will round out this great 12 month period: Indiana Jones IV (which will officially decide, according to Phil, the debate over which complete George Lucas series was the best) and the Dark Knight, a movie I'm positively giddy to see.

So as far as I'm concerned, I hope another strike happens next year if I can expect a block of movies like this. Let the good time roll!

Eggs Benedict on your Face

Dear Eagles fans who inexplicably rooted for the Giants in the Super Bowl,

Are you happy now?

Never before have I felt more betrayed as an Eagles fan as I did the last two weeks. The pricks from up the pike hoisted the Lombardi this weekend, culminating with a ticker-tape parade down Broadway to the cheers of thousands of blue bloods, and after desperately trying to come to grips with an utterly lost football season, all I have left is one question: are you fucking happy now?

Super Bowl XLII will be remembered as one of the biggest upsets in not only football history, but in all of sports, right up there with the 1980 US Hockey Team, the UNLV/Duke game, Joe Namath's prediction, and the 2004 ALCS. It was one of the most riveting football games I've ever seen, which is saying a lot when you consider the Eagles and Cowboys were not involved, and contrary to what I heard many people say, it was also one of the best Super Bowls of recent memory.

The best team in the league, riding an unbeaten streak, was going against the hottest team in the playoffs, and it was a bloodbath. Two teams slugged it out for three quarters, playing smash-mouth playoff football in a low scoring defensive struggle, all leading up to an amazing 4 lead changes in the fourth quarter with a historic finish.

When either team was down at the end of the game, their quarterback orchestrated scoring drives to put them ahead. But the Giants were the ones catching all the breaks and the Patriots were the ones missing them; and I'm not saying that to diminish what the Giants accomplished. Don't get me wrong, the Giants deserved to win this game and the Patriots deserved to lose it (even though I would argue that if they played this game out ten times, the Pats would win 8 of them). Yet you can't deny that while the Patriots dropped potential Eli Manning interceptions, failed to fall on fumbles, penalized themselves out of good field position, and made mistakes at the worst times, the Giants seemed to be capable of no wrong.

Now make no mistake, the Giants four man pass rush was possibly the best I've ever seen in my life in ANY game and was the biggest factor in the outcome. Every quarterback in the history of the league would have wilted under the pressure they were applying, and Tom Brady was no different. Eli engineering two touchdown drives in the fourth quarter was impressive, but hand the MVP award to that defensive line because they were the difference makers.

Which brings me back to all you traitors out there. How does it feel now? For the next year, every Giants fan you know won't be able to contain themselves in reminding us Eagles fans just how sweet it is and how pathetic we are. The talentless-but-tall Plaxico Burress, who KILLS the Eagles every year on that same fade to the corner of the endzone used to win XLII, has tears of joy streaming down his face as he holds the Lombardi trophy. When he's done, he'll hand it to Michael Strahan, the gap-toothed McNabb sacker who deflates us at least twice a year during a crucial third down sack that kills a Philadelphia drive.

Next year they'll be riding a wave of confidence. The world champion New York "Football" Giants chanting "18 and 1". Dealing with a 13 win Dallas team wasn't going to be tough enough, now we get to face the world champs in our own division.

And to top it all off, Eli Manning, the always inconsistent quarterback notorious for imploding, the quarterback who never looked confident, the quarterback you could count on to kill the Giants when the Eagles need him to, is gone. He's officially turned the corner; he's now a legitimate threat. He never wowed anyone with stats like his big bro, but for the most important five games in his young career he put the team on his shoulders and now he has a Super Bowl ring and MVP award to show for it. No longer a killer to his team, he's a killer to ours.

The real deal. . . .

Twice a year. . . .

And you cheered for it. You wanted it. For two weeks you talked about it, hoped for it, maybe even prayed for it. And why? Because one Super Bowl loss to a better team overrides decades of bitter rivalry? Because "that Bill Belichick seems like such a jerk" even though the Giants have Plaxico, Strahan AND Jeremy Shockey? Because you'd like to see someone else win for a change?

Well someone else did, and it wasn't us. The team we hate almost as much as the Cowboys just won it all.

And you willed it to happen. Congratulations. Now go home and get your fuckin' shinebox.

Sincerely, Me

P.S. I'm back fuckers

The Reckoning

Face it, folks, Belichick plans to lay waste to the NFL. Commissioner Roger Goodell took away a first-rounder, so the Patriots will take away your first born. Belichick has assembled perhaps the most dominating team in NFL history, and he's intent on destroying all opponents in his path.

When I read that in John Clayton's article on ESPN, two things happened. First I chuckled at the 'first born' reference. Second, I caught myself nodding at the very concept. The Patriots are good. Really good. In fact, this may be the most dominant team in any sport that I've seen in the last 15 years.

Let me repeat that.

The New England Patriots are the best team I've ever seen. Period.

This past weekend witnessed the best regular season match-up the NFL has to offer between the undefeated Patriots and the similarly undefeated defending champion Colts, complete with all the hype that the media could offer: Brady vs. Manning; Dungy vs. Belichick; Good vs. Evil; Cheaters vs. "Cheaters". After a 24-20 win in Indy, talk of "the perfect season" only grew louder for New England as they essentially locked up home field advantage for the playoffs. Did the game carry as much significance as last year's AFC Championship game? Of course not. But in many ways, this could be one of the most important chapters in what has become the best rivalry in sports.

How so? Some observations from the game:

1. Winning a close one - When it comes to evaluating a team based on wins and losses, I've always subscribed to the theory put forth by ESPN's John Hollinger :

Coaches are fond of saying that good teams win the close games, but they actually have it backward -- lucky teams win the close games; good teams win the blowouts. Lopsided victories are a far better barometer of quality.

This does not mean that a team winning a close game only won because they got lucky. Good teams are the ones that put themselves in the best position to win, but in a close game, the outcome usually hinges on the mere bounce of a ball one way or another. Such is not the case in a blowout because a blowout leaves no doubt. Prior to the Colts game, this is all the Patriots were doing (in fact, the average score of their previous 8 games was an astounding 41-16 margin). That's better than a three touchdown advantage! From destroying bottom-feeders like the Dolphins and Jets, to negating the high-octane the offenses of Cincinnati and San Diego, to dispatching contenders like Washington and (*gulp*) Dallas, the Patriots were running roughshod over the league.

Then came the close win over the Colts this past weekend. The offense looked out of sync. They were on the road. The officiating was shady (I'll get to this in a minute). The offensive line looked confused the entire first half, a ten yard sack killed their opening drive, and an incredibly (lucky) athletic pick of a Brady pass in the fourth could have sealed the game.

Yet in spite of all this, the Patriots still came out on top. The defense gave up some big plays but held tight in the red zone, effectively shut down Dallas Clark, and held the Colts to 20 points. Meanwhile, for all their first-half misfires, the offensive line adjusted to the pass rush, receivers stopped dropping passes, and New England scored on three of their last four drives to pull out the victory. So while I continue to marvel at how this team demolishes opponents, a close win over the second best team in the league on the road is just as impressive.

2. The Patriots have now shifted momentum back in their favor... for now - In the first six meetings between Tom Brady and Peyton Manning, the Patriots won all six. Since then, the Colts had won three in a row, including a 27-20 regular season win followed by the "Comeback" in the AFC Championship game. The seemingly invincible roadblock to Peyton Manning's championship had finally been conquered, and people began to wonder if the era of the Patriots was quietly coming to an end.

Now the ball is back in New England's court. After flailing in their previous three meetings, the Patriots took the best shot an undefeated champ had to offer and came out on top. It's the type of game that New England was notorious for winning in the past, back when they were the defending champs sitting quietly on the sideline as everyone gasped at the flashy Colts sprinting out of the regular season gate. Back then, there was an attitude, a desire to shove it in the faces of everyone who forgot that they were the baddest team around. They lost that edge in the last two years, but it seems as though they've taken it back.

3. Dear Lord, it's Randy Moss! - Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, was wrong about Randy Moss prior to this season. It's easy to forget that Randy was one of the most feared and talented players the league had to offer from the moment he got drafted. A declining Daunte Culpepper and a two year sentence in football hell can do that. To think that all it took was a 4th round pick to acquire him (and the best QB ever to tame him) is sick. Since then, we've heard teammates praise him, coaches exalt him, and watched Randy himself dazzle us play after play. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go throw up while thinking of the Eagles signing Kevin Curtis in the off season.

4. The hidden genius of Belichick - One of the biggest controversies not involving the words "spy" and "gate" this year has been the apparent outcry over New England seemingly running up the score in games that were well in hand. I have three giant problems with this. First, no self-respecting fan should ever bitch about a someone running up the score against their team. Any and all criticism should be directed against their own pathetic team for being unable to stop the bleeding (anyone who listens to WIP in Philly knows this to be true). This is why you didn't hear opposing coaches so much as frown in post-game press conferences after getting their asses kicked by New England, because they knew their team had a lot to work on. Second, we're not talking about some pop-warner, highschool or college squad that is clearly outclassed. These aren't children, and no one is going to give Ryan Boschetti a shoulder to cry on. These are professional athletes, and well paid ones at that. Third, and probably most important, this is a capped sports league, meaning that every team is on a financially level playing field. Unlike baseball (no cap), basketball (luxury tax) or hockey (small market teams), football has a hard cap that prevents big markets from hoarding all the premier players in the league. If a team can put together as superior a roster as the Patriots have assembled while playing by the same rules as everyone else, then they have the right to play as hard as they want.

Considering how much better the Patriots have been compared to their opponents, it's almost a miracle that Belichick can keep them motivated each and every week. What's more amazing is how much sense it makes for this team to play all 60 minutes, even when the opponent seems to be over. Just look at their playoff exit from last season. The Patriots had the game against the Colts in the bag and let it slip away in the second half. The coaching staff was clearly sending a message to all their players this season that such a disaster would not be tolerated again. And in case you missed it, the Patriots needed all 60 minutes to beat the Colts in a close one this weekend. Coincidence? Hardly. Chalk it up to good coaching.

5. Converting the crucial third down - Speaking of last year, the defining moment for the Patriots in that game was a dropped pass by Reche Caldwell on third-and-short that would have gotten the first down and ran the clock to seal the Colts fate. Up by 4 in the fourth quarter and needing to convert a third-and-short to end the game, Brady completed a perfect pass to newly-acquired slot man Wes Welker to end the game this weekend.

6. Most obvious home-field advantage ever - I can't even begin to quantify how bad the officiating was in this game, so thank God that Bill Simmons did it for me. Aside from the fact that an angry Bill Simmons rant is among the most entertaining pieces of writing you can find, I also love reading them for the multitude of times he reminds me of moments that happened during the game. As I'm going to let his article do most of the talking for me, what I will say is this. On the first drive of the game, Manning completed an 11-yard pass to Aaron Moorehead on the sideline. I say on the sideline and not near the sideline because Moorehead was out of bounds. The ruling on the field was a catch, even though not one, but TWO officials were no more than ten feet away, staring directly at Moorehead's foot planted out of bounds as he made the grab. New England challenged the ruling on the field and the call was reversed, but I remember turning to Phil at the time and sarcastically saying that I hoped this wasn't an omen for how the rest of the game would be officiated. Turns out it was. Not since Dwayne Wade in the 2006 NBA Finals have I seen an entire team of officials give such an obvious advantage to the home team on almost every single call (and no-call) of the game. For the rest of my life, I will swear that someone in the league worked to give the advantage to the Colts, and no one will ever convince me otherwise.

7. Even the Colts are scared of this team - Aside from the return of the glorious Peyton Manning patented "dear in headlights" face, the most telling moment for me came at the end of the first half. A Tom Brady pass intended for Stallworth was intercepted at the Colts 2 yard line. Down by 1 with a 1:55 left on the clock, three timeouts, and with the Patriots receiving the kickoff in the second half, the Colts ran behind Addai twice, called timeout, then threw a short pass to Moorehead to get out of dangerous territory and move up to the 17 yard line. Suddenly I'm watching as the Colts let the clock wind down, throw another short pass to Wayne and finally use their second time out to stop the clock at 0:28.

So you're at home, the crowd is already out of the game at this point, you're down by one and giving the ball at the half, and you're settling for short passes with no intention of putting together some sort of FG drive? I understand that some people would say 'hey, you're deep in your zone, move the ball and just play it safe before the half', but then why bother using any of your timeouts in the first place. You have two minutes and three timeouts, the quintessential 2-minute drive! It was clear to me that the Colts were indecisive in what they wanted to do, and eventually decided to just go in at the half behind. There was no urgency in their actions, no attitude. Somehow, the football Gods decided to smile on their cowardice, allowing a short pass to Addai to spring for a miracle go-ahead 73 yard TD, but in that span of 90 seconds you could see that all 31 teams are scared of the Patriots, Peyton Manning included. Which brings me to my final observation.

8. The endless discussion coming to an end? - I wrote here back in July about the Tom Brady/Peyton Manning debate, going so far as to compare Manning to the perennial cute girl getting named prom queen for being everyone's crush since 3rd grade, even with a more deserving candidate (Brady) waiting in the wings. The argument always seems to come down to whether you were a stats guy or a winning/intangibles guy, with both sides copping out and agreeing "well, until Brady gets the kind of weapons that Manning has, we'll never know which one is better".

Now we know. Brady is on pace to demolish Manning's single season TD record, single season passer-rating, and put up kind of numbers we've never seen. As a team, the Patriots are on pace to obliterate the record for points scored by a team in a single season. The question, in my mind, is now finally answered: with the likes of Randy Moss, Wes Welker and Donte Stallworth, Brady is showing that with comparable weapons on offense, Manning and his statistical accomplishments pale when compared to his own. In a game where he could finally say he had the kind of weapons that Manning got to enjoy his entire career, Brady came out victorious.

Not only that, but he snatched back the crown that so many journalists had tried to place on Mannings head after last season; the crown of clutch. But in this game, we saw once again what we had seen for the majority of both QBs careers: Brady leading his team down the field in the 4th quarter when his team needed him most, and Manning shrinking in the same situation. You could see it in his face as he sat on the sidelines after a three-and-out, watching Brady convert a crucial third down play to run out the clock and seal both teams fate: Manning knows the same thing I do.

Brady is the best football player on the planet, maybe one of the best ever, and barring catastrophe in the post-season, the argument of who is better isn't an argument anymore.

I Must Be Crazy

"Know thyself." Pretty simple concept right? I always thought it was. I mean, how could you possibly not know what's going on in your own head, not know who you are or what you want? Personally, I never understood how people could sometimes be so oblivious to themselves, how they could say one thing and do something else and not recognize the hypocrisy in their actions. I never wanted to be like that. I've always needed to be in control, be self aware, and make the right adjustments in my life or in my thinking to try and be the person that I believe I want to be. In that pursuit I feel I'm ahead of the curve. At this exact moment, at the exact second you read this, I still feel that I have a deep understanding of my morals, my convictions, my strengths and my flaws. Looking back, the changes I've made to myself since the days of high school are few and refining in nature.

I mention all this because it frustrates me that I've ignored a very obvious and very real problem in my life for the last few years. . .



"Oh my God, is Tegan coming out?!?"

No, and fuck you, that's not what I'm getting at. About five years ago, me and every other junior in the country had to decide what they wanted to do with their lives. Being at the top of my class, I felt like there was an obligation to join a profession of higher status, and since math and science were always my strong suits, I decided that chemical engineering, with its prestige and lofty starting salary, was the right choice. I say "obligation" with regret now; when classmates said "Tegan is gonna be a millionaire genius and Flacco is gonna be in the NFL" and I'd scoff because I knew that big fish in a little pond often aren't the biggest in the ocean, it seems that I subconscienciously bought into that way of thinking.

The truth of the matter is that I never really got into it. I've been doing the chemical engineering thing for about four years now, completing three different co-ops along the way, and nothing has ever grabbed my attention. Not once did I ever find anything that made me say "wow, this is pretty cool, this is definitely what I want to do when I graduate." When people asked me how I liked working, I'd always say that I enjoyed being employed and earning a paycheck and the social interaction, but that the work itself was never that great. And when people asked me how classes were, I'd shrug my shoulders. I kept making excuses for myself, saying that getting my degree was just a stepping stone for real life; that if I could just get through it and find a half-decent job that paid pretty well I'd be able to create a life outside of work that I'd be happy with.

I know differently now. What I know now that I didn't want to know before is that being happy with what I do is more important to me than the dollar amount on the paycheck I earn. Fact is, in the four years I've been taking classes and working jobs, the thing I've always looked forward to is coaching, and it's not because my brothers are on the team, and it's not because I get to be involved with a sport I used to play. It's because I feel like I'm making a difference, that maybe I'm actually making those kids better players, and maybe even better people.

What I want to do is teach.

Teaching has always been an option for me, something I've discussed with friends in the past. Foolishly, I've always created reasons not to because I thought that the money and bullshit "obligation" to my high school status lay elsewhere. In the four years I've been here at school, I've never been able to actually picture myself as an engineer, but I can quite easily see teaching as something I'd be able to get up every day for. Two years ago, when my sister decided she wanted to be a high school history teacher, I was genuinely jealous. Now I'm finally reading the writing that's been on the walls.

The road to being me hasn't had all that many short-cuts, and certain choices I've made have sometimes made the trip harder. I've been honest with people to a fault, maintained sobriety to the detriment of an easy social life, and adhered to a personal code of conduct that has seen me smacking my forehead after turning down girls of the not-so-sober status. Is choosing a new career going to make the path any easier? Hell no. Doing what I plan on doing is going to change a lot of things, but I do so knowing that change as a 22 year old college student is much easier to handle than change at 32.

But it's the right choice for me to make, and it's something I know I want to do.

Are We There Yet?

It's August, which can mean only one thing: it's almost September. Yes, that's right, and with the simple flip of a page from my High School Musical Calendar we will officially welcome the Fall. While summer and winter may get a lot of hype, and as nice as spring can be, the fall season has to be the best. There's no argument: sweaters, jeans, Eagles, Flyers, fantasy football, soccer, Thanksgiving, cool weather and hot chocolate. . . . shall I continue? When you're as advanced in age as I am and summer break is no longer relevant, the advantages of autumn really shine.

Perhaps one truly underrated benefit of the change of season is that we finally free ourselves of the second-most dreaded month of the year, because let's get real here (February aside) August brings nothing to the table. It's way too hot, the humidity kills, baseball is the only "sport" going and there's not a worthy holiday to speak of. If anything, it's really just a tease; a roadblock in our path to September and the change of season that accompanies it.

About the only decent thing that happened this month was that I got a chance to follow up the Tegan family July getaway with an August-appropriate visit to the Monahans on the Island of Long. Our usually distant Uncle Chris also made the trip up, which meant that all three of my uncles were present and accounted for. For the most part we simply relaxed pool-side at my uncle Keith's place, but all the kids were running around and the grill was pumping out food almost as fast as we could eat it, so personal illness aside (of course I catch a bug the day before leaving . . . thanks a lot August, you prick) I certainly had no complaints.

But outside the family vacation the month has been, for the most part, utterly uneventful, which may help explain why I'm practically drooling at the mere thought of the upcoming season. Wait a minute, this all seems very familiar . . . .

For weeks, months even, I had been looking ahead to the month of September to save me...

Hmm, I guess my disdain for August is a yearly thing, but I suppose that helps prove my point. Consider as well that living here in Philadelphia, with it's incredible sports atmosphere, combined with my previously outlined obsession with athletic competition, only amplifies the importance of the fall. A fact which led to ponder what actually makes this city such a sports dynamo? What makes sports in the city of brotherly love better than anywhere else?

Well I'm glad I asked.

Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to present the Top 20 Reasons Why Philly Kicks Ass as a Sports Town. In my personal variation of the "American Top 40", I shall outline exactly what makes sports here so special. This is not a remembrance of the greatest sports moments in this towns history. That would be too easy. Instead, this is a list of the many factors that which yearly make sports here more enjoyable and unique than anywhere else.

20. Rivalry - If the measure of a team is it's rivals, then the list a Philadelphia fan can produce must be one of the most impressive. Historically, teams here have been very important over the span of their respective sport's existence, and so have their closest and most hated rivals: Dallas Cowboys, NY Rangers, Boston Celtics, NY Giants, Atlanta Braves, the Devils, the Pistons, the Mets, the Penguins. You'd be hard pressed to come up with a more imposing list than that, and in the case of each rival, the hatred is palpable. So why is this reason #20? Well, any time the Cowboys or Giants are involved, I refuse to put them anywhere but the absolute bottom.

19. Blue Horizon - Sadly, even the most phanatic phan may find themselves wiki-searching this one, but believe me when I say that the Legendary Blue Horizon is one of the best hidden sports gems this city has to offer. And don't misinterpret my use of the word "legendary" as simply a colorful adjective. Not long ago, boxing was one of the premier interests of the country, until money and corruption began to ruin it. Yet the Blue Horizon shines on as one of the last humble churches of this dying religion.

18. Little Three - Unlike the Big Three (which will be mentioned later), the little 3 is what I like to call the tri-fecta of racing-style spectacles this city holds every year. I'm referring of course to the Penn Relays, the Schuylkill Regatta and the Philadelphia International Championship Bike Race. Every year during the summer months, the best of the best from across the country (and in some cases the world) make their way here to take part in three of the most respected and important events in their sports. The crowds are huge, the competitors many, and the entertainment value . . . well to be honest, they don't necessarily rock my world. Yet while I may not wait in line for a ticket, the outcomes are usually of interest and the relevance completely obvious.

17. Pats/Genos - Does cut-throat economic competition count as a sport? Well, in my book it does. And in this case, we're talking about the two biggest heavyweights in the biggest food pissing-contest this city has to offer. Pats over Genos. Genos over Pats. No matter which you prefer, it's a point of discussion and (in some cases) violent argument in this city, and I embrace it. Whether you're attracted to Rocky's food of choice or shiny neon lights, wiz or provolone, the cheesesteak battle is as important a feature of the Philly sports terrain as anything else.

16. FDR - You're sitting in traffic, on your way to watch your favorite team play a crucial game with playoff implications. The tickets cost an arm and a leg, the seats aren't that good, and while you stare at the retarded collection of bumper stickers on the car in front of you, you're wife/girlfriend complains because she can't understand your sports obsession. The last thing you feel like doing is paying some asshole $20 to let you park ten minutes away from the stadium. That's why, whenever I'm on my way to South Philly, I thank God that he created FDR Park. OK, maybe God didn't create it, I'm sure it was some city planner, but you get the idea. If you don't know already, let me drop this knowledge on you: it's big, it's free and it's not much further than most of the overpriced lots in the area. If you don't feel like walking the extra steps then be my guest and waste a twenty spot that could be used on dogs and beer. Did I mention that FDR also doubles as an actual park with picnic tables, skate parks, tennis courts and baseball diamonds? Well I just did.

15. Tykes on Ice - A beautiful tradition of the Flyers franchise in which two teams of local youngsters go head-to-head during the second intermission of home games to showcase their skills, skate slowly, fall down a lot, and never ever ever ever EVER score. I swear, these kids score about as frequently as Rosie O'Donnell. I've only seen it once (a goal, not the Rosie thing), and it was one of the most memorable moments of my life. The fact remains that this Flyers tradition is one of the best around. After all, what could be better than wide-eyed hockey loving kids playing their hearts out to the encouraging cheers of some of the best hockey fans in the country? Pure and awesome.

14. Eagles cheerleaders - Call me sexist, call me a pig, but how could any man resist cheerleaders? It's really not my fault, I swear. The Quality-Control Supervisors of Applause and General Fanaticism employed by the Eagles are some of the best and most beautiful found anywhere. In fact, their yearly calendar and constantly improving website have placed them atop the NFL cheerleader food chain as they are consistently voted #1 by football fans. Did I mention they're hot?

13. Chickie's and Pete's - I'm not a fan of needing two apostrophes in one title, but everything else about this mega sports bar is legit. Last year, my Uncle Eugene and his NYC cop buddies came down to check out a Mets/Phils game with me as their brotherly-love sherpa (this was the same game where Aaron Rowand broke his face making a running grab in center field off of Xavier Nady). Surprisingly, guys who have to watch games at shitty Shea stadium were most impressed with C&P's. The proximity to the stadiums is perfect, there are jumbo TV's showing nothing but sports on every wall, the bar is stocked and the food is quick yet surprisingly good (mmmm crab fries). The service can be hit or miss (I've had my best waitress ever there named Brook, but I've also had one of my worst), but it's definitely a valuable commodity for any fan for pre or post-game festivities.

12. Flying Flyers - You know the expression "having an ace up your sleeve"? For a Philly fan, the Flyers are that ace. While the other three franchises in the city experience highs and lows, and for the most part it's been lows, the Flyers are consistently a contender. How consistent? After winning back-to-back championships in '74 and '75, the Flyers have made the playoffs 25 out of 31 seasons, including 5 trips to the Finals. Having the ability to bank on local success like that, year in and year out, is a valuable security blanket for any sports fan.

11. Wingbowl - I swear, this completes the eating portion of the exam. Every year, half the men in the greater city area tailgate in the A.M. hours of the January cold so they can watch a handful of the best competitive eaters in the world attack buffalo-sauced poultry parts on the eve of the biggest sports event in the country; the Big Game (due to copyright laws, the NFL will not allow me to write the words "Super" and "Bowl" as they have been trademarked). I cannot possibly convey, in words or pictures, how awesome this concept actually is or it's importance to the city. If you can't understand, then I can't help you. Trust me when I say it's kinda a big deal.

10. Big "Six" - To many it's the Big Five, but I'm from Drexel and biased. The cluster of local Universities make the city a national basketball hotbed and do much to make this city different from most major cities in the country. With a large college-student community to add a certain flavor to the social fabric of the city, these schools also guarantee that at least one of the group will be in the hunt during a little thing called March Madness (basketball fan or not, the NCAA tournament for hard court glory is easily one of the three biggest events in the country). The group is also unique in that they all flex their respective schedules to play each other every year in spite of the fact that they play in different conferences, which makes for a special kind of rivalry.

9. Stadiums - In the past, the Vet struck fear into the hearts of opposing players and visiting fans. It was large and imposing, dirty and "turfed", and it was ours. While I was sad to see it go, I was also happy to see the raising of two new stadiums in it's place. In sports, teams always brag about their new homes and use it as a measure of their success and the strength of their fan base. In the last 11 years, we've seen all four of our teams find shiny new homes. The Wachovia Center, Citizens Bank Park and the Link are all impressive and fan friendly and each is within a stones throw of the other. I've been in all three and was impressed each and every time, and while the Vet may be gone, the Spectrum and it's rich history still stands. Combining it's presence with the three new stadiums makes the sports complex a special place.

8. EAGLES! - The Eagles chant is special if only for the fact that it has no time limit. Football season or not, it doesn't matter to the die-hard fan. I've heard it at baseball games and on the radio, I've heard it in bathrooms and bars, I've heard it yelled from the window of a passing cab in May. It's like a manly musk that hangs in the air, communicating our dominance to the lesser sports species and scaring off scavengers.

7. The King - I've written here about Howard Eskin before. The premier personality on AM sports radio, the King of Bling is a local treasure. First of all, he knows sports. Well, in fairness, he knows baseball, football and basketball (he's not a big hockey guy). If you want to know why a guy played the way he did, where someone should bat in a lineup, or want to understand the nuances of the game, Howard is your man. Secondly, he's got inside sources coming out the ass. He's basically the deep-throat of the Philly sports community. If there is a whisper of an upcoming trade or player acquisition, Eskin is usually the first on the station to break the story. Third, the guy is straight up entertaining. Most people bitch that he's narrow-minded and rude, and to a degree that may be true, but most times his insults are directed at people who really don't know what the fuck they are talking about, and I enjoy his brand of blatant regulation. For local sports talk radio in it's purest form, Eskin is and always will be the King.

6. The Dancing Guy at the Flyers Games (aka Shawn Hill) - This is pretty self-explanatory. Basically, there's this overweight white guy with Flyers season tickets in the nose-bleed sections who always busts a move during the "get pumped up" music. It's always at some crucial point in the game when they turn up the house music, start showing fans jumping and hollering on the jumbo screen, and this guy always ends up stealing the show. His pop and lock skills are on par with Justin Timberlake and his comedic value reminiscent of Chris Farley. I was at a game during the regular season where it was actually his birthday: they announced it on the big screen, played a funky beat, and let him do his thing for a good two minutes as the house went nuts and gave him a long standing ovation. Check out this tribute video and watch for the point where you can actually tell when he goes up on the screen and the ladies swoon, or this one where him dancing to thriller becomes an event in itself.

5. Jersey of South - New Jersey critics, here me out on this one. Remember that scene in Braveheart when the Irish betray the British, join up with William Wallace and his lovable lads and fight for freedom? The scene illustrates an important point which is that every cause needs men from many walks of life to take up the good fight. Pennsylvania natives may be a little bit possessive with their sports teams, but they shouldn't be. Like it or not, South Jersey is called home by as many Philly sports fans as the greater Philadelphia area, a very simple but very important truth that should not be overlooked, and their cheers and boos are just as loud and powerful. It also perfectly demonstrates the allure of the Philly sports scene in that people of another state, a state with it's own sports teams, would rather declare their allegiance to the bright lights from across the river. So I say cheer on Philly faithful, and welcome.

4. National Attention - A big reason Philadelphia is so special as a sports town is because the children of our beloved teams can be found in some of the most prominent positions of entertainment and national analysis. We have John Kruk always anchoring the Baseball Tonight crew; Sir Charles Barkley as the centerpiece of the NBA on TNT; Mike Golic on nationally syndicated "Mike and Mike in the Morning"; Ron Jaworski on NFL Live and in the Monday Night Football booth; Keith Jones in studio for NHL games on Versus; and Steven A. Smith and Sal Paolantonio providing valuable input for ESPN. It's clear that we've infected every facet of national sports media and we're here to stay.

3. No Yuppies - If there is one thing that fans in this city are more proud of than their teams, it's the tradition of losing created by them. Teams in this city are notorious for losing, and that pride in losing is prominent throughout our sports subculture. It's what makes Philadelphia fans different from every other fan. We want to win and we bitch and moan about losing, but at the same time, we wear that pain and suffering we've endure like a badge of honor. There is at least one benefit to having a culture of losing however, and that's a lack of yuppie fans. Yuppie fans are nothing more than luxury fans: fans created by people desperate to be cool and who view a shiny new championship as their ticket to show off. Yuppie fans are like a cancer to a city. They reproduce rapidly and asexually, lack knowledge of players and fail to understand even the most basic concepts of the sport. They frustrate the real fans, make them want to avoid going out to the games, and essentially eat away at the solid foundation of a good fanbase. Yet winning is crucial to their existence, and winning is something that this city hasn't seen in over twenty years. So while we may be lacking the banners in recent times, the number of "quality" sports fans is as abundant as ever.

2. The Big 3 - The Big 3 refers to the trinity of sportscasters that make the memorable calls for our favorite teams: Merrill Reese for Eagles radio, Jim Jackson for televised Flyers games, and the best of them all, Harry Kalas for Phillies play-by-play on both radio and TV. Each may have their own unique style, but all three are considered the cream of the sports broadcasting crop. With intimate knowledge of the sport, a natural understanding of the flow of the game, powerful playcalling and likeable personalities, these three perfectly capture the action of the game and call it with the flare and intensity of a storyteller. Harry is the best of them all. Not limited to a single sport, he has also been THE voice for all the season perspectives and classic game highlights for NFL Films and is one of the most recognizable voices in all of sports. When a fan watches his team, he wants more than just the pictures and sounds of the game. These three provide that extra something that transcends the sport, and the Philadelphia fan is lucky to have them.

1. Phanatic - The team captain and best player on the Philadelphia Sports team. A charter member of the Mascot Hall of Fame, the Phanatic is one of the most recognizable and lovable characters in all of sports. Widely regarded as the best mascot around, both locally and nationally, the Phanatic and his seemingly endless array of comedic tools is one of the most powerful entities in the Philadelphia sporting world. Riding high on his ATV, mocking opposing players, dancing on the dugouts, kissing fans and security guards, throwing pelvic thrusts in the direction of enemy pitchers . . . there is no path the Phanatic won't take in his quest to do everything possible to ensure a Phillies victory and, perhaps more importantly, guarantee a good experience for the fans. A big green monster with balls of steel, hips of fury and a heart of gold, the Phanatic represents the best and most lovable qualities of the Philly sports fan.

There and Back Again

Since the moment I was born, my family has made a yearly pilgrimage up to New Hampshire. The annual wind-down is something I always look forward to simply because I get to spend time with my family at a lake-front cottage and just relax. No TV, no stress, no worries. . . . just the way I like it. If I'm not swimming or playing cards or hiking trails, I'm literally sitting in a chair with a drink in hand, staring out over the lake alone in my thoughts. Getting up there has been especially valuable the last few years due to college and all the difficulties associated with it.

This year was no different. I headed out of Philly on the last Friday of June and didn't come back until the night of the 4th of July. After a few years away, the Tegan family was finally back at Bow Lake where we belonged and the familiar sites and sounds were refreshing (it felt right being back at the place that many memories call home). It was also the first year for my new sister Sarah at the lake, so we all had a blast putting her through the paces of life at the Bow.

The resulting problem has always been the inevitable return to life back home. It's not as if I can't stand existence here in the Philadelphia area: far from it in fact as I really do love being here in city, being close to everyone and everything important in my life. But the fact remains that transitioning from vacation life (soaking up sunshine on an 80 degree day in a cushioned chair beside a tranquil lake) to the humid heat of city life is tough. Then three things happened:

1. Shit hit the fan between me and John/Kaitlin the morning of the 6th.

2. I was laid off from my job.

3. My computer died.

Hooray on all three counts. I'm not going to get into the first, ESPECIALLY in this blog (lest we all forget the now infamous "Blog Incident" that took place before the NFL draft three months ago). My computer died, for the fourth time in four years, only this time it wouldn't even start up in safe mode. As far as getting laid off from my job, my company lost a big contract due to a strike by one of our customers and needed to lay off the part-time help in order to accommodate the union guys (hey, it happens, what can you do).

The thing is, I'm not even writing this to complain or to fish for sympathy. Instead, I'm writing this to share a message of hope.

After avoiding the computer problem for awhile, I finally decided that today was a good day to play around with it and see what the level of destruction was. Phil helped check out the BIOS noticed that my computer was only sporting about 72MB of RAM (if you really don't know shit about anything, that means that my computer had about as much computing power as a circa 1992 Mac). . . . AKA, my memory was bad. I grabbed a screwdriver and took out the two memory sticks from my computer to investigate when I had a moment of pure genius. Straight Super NES style, I jokingly blew on the sticks like many of us used to with game cartridges.

Amazingly, it worked, and with that my technology drought was over. With any luck, this minor change of fate will shift the momentum in my favor.

Killing Queen

Everyone knows that I love sports. Not just like. Love. When I was a little kid I really didn't care about them much. Maybe it was because my parents weren't the biggest of sports fans, or maybe it was because we didn't stop moving around and settle in one area until I was about 5, but for most of my early years I was much more interested in pretending to be Wolverine or building spaceships out of LEGOs to care about who was going to make it out of the NFC East. It wasn't until I reached highschool, the same season Elway finally won the big one against Favre and the Packers in possibly the greatest Super Bowl ever, that I started to give a shit. I can't tell you much about the history of anything, and I don't know every stat under the sun, but I know enough to back up an opinion. And while football might be my favorite, I'm the only one in my house that follows all four of the major sports along with tennis and a few others.

I think it's the purity of sports that appeals to me the most. There are no loopholes where you can create unfair advantages (ideally, this is usually the case). Unlike life, sports allow people to compete against each other in a world with boundaries defined by rules; a world where physical ability is often no more important than skill or intelligence; a world that can unify entire cities as they root and cheer for "their" players, for "their" team. And unlike life, it's a world where your pedigree doesn't matter and where what you do is more important than the name on your back.

Take highschool for instance. One of the highlights is always the crowning of a homecoming queen: after all, who doesn't want to see five of the schools hottest freezing in evening gowns while riding on the back of some locals' Corvette? My senior year it was Lindsey Ruoff; nice enough girl, tall and beautiful, but that was about it. I can think of three girls off the top of my my head who were just as attractive, had "top third" GPA's, and either played sports or were heavily involved in activities. And therein lies the problem with homecoming: the queen almost never represents the absolute best the class has to offer. It's always the one with the prettiest face or the "it" girl that everyone had the hots for since 3rd grade. In a small town, you're name is almost always more important than what you've done. Even when we were young, you always had at least one kid make the all-star team because he used to be a stud (even though other kids have since surpassed him in ability).

Hmmmm. . . . maybe the world of sports isn't always as perfect as I'd like it to be. Recently, ESPN asked five football experts who the best quarterback in the NFL was, which can always be broken down to a choice between Peyton Manning and Tom Brady. Astonishingly, the unanimous choice was Peyton Manning. The argument against Manning had always been that he'd failed to win "the big one", but that his recent Superbowl victory cemented his place as the leagues' best. What's even more astonishing is that I'm one of the few people who feel otherwise, who think Manning is over-appreciated and who'd take Brady over anyone else taking snaps in the league today. When I told Jay about the article and how I wanted to write about it, his response was "how is that even something you can write about?" In other words, like myself, he didn't see where an argument could even be made. The Brady-Manning debate is a classic, so here's my take on it.

1. Just like the ESPN experts, Peter King recently rated Manning over Brady because Manning had finally "put all the can't-win-the-big-one stuff behind him." In the minds of many, he always had the stats to place him as one of the best but lacked the post-season success to be the best. Until this past year, Manning's postseason career looked as follows: 9 games, 193 of 362 passes (53%), 2461 yds (273.4 ypg), 15 TDs, 8 INTs, 3-6 record (for the record, his playoff numbers currently stand at 61%, 18 TD, 15 INT, 7-6). Clearly unimpressive, especially when you consider his regular season prowess (64% completion, 0.639 winning percentage, 7 pro-bowls and the second-best passer rating of all time at 94.4). His failures in the post-season are even more apparent when compared to Brady's playoff statistics (61% completion, 229.8 ypg, 20 TDs, 9 INTs, 12-2 record and 3 Super Bowls).

Most would say that his 4 post-season wins this past year indicate he has gotten over the "hump", but take a closer look at those victories and you'll see the evidence just isn't there. I'll admit, Manning's come from behind victory against the Patriots in the AFC Championship game in which he overcame a 21-6 halftime deficit was one of the best playoff performances by a QB in NFL history. During that half, he engineered 5 scoring drives (including a game winning 80 yard TD drive with less than 2 minutes left), threw and rushed for a touchdown, and had no interceptions. However, this would be the only impressive half for Manning's entire 2006 post-season. He threw just one touchdown but three interceptions against a soft Kansas City defense, played horribly with a 39.6 passer rating against the Ravens, produced only two fieldgoal drives and an interception in the first half of the Patriots game, and "won" the sloppiest Super Bowl I've ever seen by passing for a whopping 247 yards with one touchdown and two turnovers. Seriously, do those numbers really impress anyone?

What's more, one could argue that those games were not so much won by the Colts but lost by their opponents (yes, there is a HUGE difference). Going into the playoffs, the Colts had the worst run defense in the league and teams like Tennessee, Jacksonville and Houston (combined record 22-26) were able to easily defeat them simply by running it down their throats. So how was the Colts' Achilles heel exposed during their playoff run to glory? Larry Johnson and the Chiefs ran the ball a measly 17 times, the Ravens ran it 20 times in a fieldgoal-only extravaganza, and the Bears rushed only 19 times in spite of the fact that it was raining and were rushing for 5.8 yards a pop in the game. Why these teams didn't pound the ball at least 30 times against the Colts in each of these games is something I'll never be able to understand.

2. For his career, Peyton Manning had far better weapons at his disposal than Brady ever did, period. This really isn't debatable. If he can avoid injuries, Manning will eventually hold most of the passing records in the NFL, but as everyone drools over the numbers he puts up year after year, the numbers of Marvin Harrison are continually overshadowed. While the "best QB of all-time" debate truly is a debate, Jerry Rice and his 13 pro-bowls and 3 Super Bowl victories is without a doubt the best wide receiver of all time. Yet by the end of Manning's career, Marvin Harrison might break most, if not all, of Rice's 12 NFL receiving records.

Along with Edgerrin James (4 time pro-bowler, 1999-2005), Reggie Wayne (skilled enough to be a #1 receiver on most NFL teams), and a consistently impressive offensive line, Manning has always had an abundance of talent on the offensive side of the ball. Tom Brady? Not so much. In the last six NFL seasons (the limit of my internet searching ability) the Patriots have sent only 2 offensive players (both linemen) to the Pro-Bowl whose names were NOT Tom Brady. Over that same span, the Colts had 16 other offensive players make their way to Hawaii. On top of that, with the possible exception of Corey Dillon, can you name anyone Brady has played with to this point that is a Hall of Fame possibility? Would you have the same answer with regards to Peyton Manning? I didn't think so either.

What's more, Manning has thrived in what has essentially been an unchanged system for his entire career. Does this mean that the great Peyton Manning may simply be nothing more than a glorified "system" quarterback? Hell no. But the same cannot be said about Brady. Not only has Brady been able to win with a seemingly endless parade of no-name players, he's done so in an adaptive offensive system that operates year to year based on their available personnel.

3. When talking about Peyton Manning, statistics are the one thing people most often point to as an indicator of his greatness. Indisputable numbers are incredibly valuable tools when talking about any topic. Hell, up to this point, the majority of my arguments have been backed up by researched stats and numbers. But we often forget that statistics are tools and nothing more.

Stats are incredibly helpful, but at a certain point, you have to incorporate analysis, homework and opinion as well. There are intangibles that must be taken into account that cannot be reflected in stats alone.

What my intuition and analysis tells me is this: when it comes to game day, there's only on quarterback in the league that I don't want to see lining up against my team, and that QB is Tom Brady. For every impressive statistic Manning has produced, Brady has an equally impressive fact regarding the most important factor of all: winning. While the Colts started the 2005 season with 13 straight victories, the Patriots hold the NFL record for most consecutive wins with 21. Manning is 7-6 in the playoffs while Tom Brady holds the record for most consecutive playoff wins at 10. Manning will eventually pass Marino as the best statistical QB in NFL history, but Brady currently has the highest career win% of any QB ever. Brady has never really had a terrible outting in the playoffs, but Manning has had at least four instances of playing at a sub-70 passer-rating level (Ravens '06, Patriots '03 and '04, Jets '02). And in the end, isn't winning and producing when your team needs you to the most important things for any player in any sport? Statistics are tangible, which is why they are so universal and convenient, but it's the intangibles that often decide who wins and who goes home, and Brady certainly has all the right intangibles.

When everything's said and done though, it's highschool all over again. Peyton and his pedigree have been the apple of the NFL's eye since he was drafted out of Tennessee. His father played in the league, and now his younger brother does too. He's always had the accolades, always been in the spotlight, and everyone has been so desperate for him to win a championship that they couldn't wait to hand him the Superbowl MVP even when offensive line and running-back tandum deserved it more. He's the homecoming queen that everyone has been waiting to crown since 1999. Then there's blue-collar Tom Brady, who had to fight for playing time his senior year at Michigan even after leading them to a conference title his junior year. Lacking the hype, he was famously drafted late in the 6th round and played second fiddle to Drew Bledsoe for two years. When he stepped in due to injury, all he did was lead the Patriots all the way to their first ever championship. But he doesn't have the name, doesn't have the pedigree, and doesn't have the flashy numbers that Manning does. All he does is win, but I guess winning isn't what always gets you the crown.

Some other sports notes:- In case you missed it, the first round playoff series between the #1 Dallas Mavericks and the #8 Goldenstate Warriors was one of the best playoff series I've ever seen in any sport. It wasn't great in a "back-and-forth-struggle-leading-to-a-game-seven" way, but in an inspiring underdog performance sort of way. Three things that made this series enjoyable:

1. Dirk Nowitzki won the league MVP, by default, because he was the best player on the best team. To me, that isn't what the award represents. If you had the first pick of any player in the league to be on your team, Kobe would probably be the player you'd pick. Not Dirk, a 7-footer with a weak post game. The rumor around the league this year was that his playoff struggles against the Heat in the finals last year had haunted him to the point of severe motivation. It was promised by everyone that we'd see a new Dirk this year in the playoffs, an improved Dirk, an unstoppable Dirk. Instead, we saw his shooting percentages and ppg drop from his regular season numbers and watched him fail to carry his team when they needed him the most. The only thing more enjoyable than watching the collapse of a paper-champ MVP was watching Mark Cuban twist in agony as his team lost yet again in disappointing fashion.
2. On the other end of the spectrum, Baron Davis finally lived up to the hype that had followed him his entire career and put on a show for the ages. He imposed his will on the Mavericks, made more incredible shots than I care to remember, and slashed to the basket consistently against one of the best defensive teams during the regular season. The best was his 20 points, 10 rebounds and 6 assists in the series-clinching game 6 win on a pulled hamstring.
3. Perhaps the best feature of this series was the Goldenstate home crowd. Bill Simmons summed it up best:

   These things don't happen at Warriors and Knicks games because they're the only two places left with old-school fans, fans who have been coming to games for 30-40 years, fans of all colors, fans who genuinely understand basketball and every nuance that comes with it. They don't need a giant video screen to help them out; hell, they don't want the giant video screen to help them out. These are the fans who recognize a beautiful pass as it's happening, not after it happens, simply because they love basketball and see the same angles players see. These are the fans who instinctively understand stuff like, "Michael Pietrus just threw down a ridiculous putback; I'm going to stand and keep cheering for an extra 30 seconds because he's a young kid and we need to keep pumping him up so he'll do it again."

- A few weeks ago, the comparative influences of Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods were discussed on ESPN, which led to an interesting debate in the house about whose accomplishments were more impressive. Since it's impossible to determine, let's assume that it's equally difficult to reach the peak of skill and physical conditioning in golf as it is in basketball. For me, Jordan and his six championships are more impressive than Tiger and his 12 because, in my mind, direct competition is more difficult than indirect competition.

Let me explain. In golf, you're not so much playing against other players as you are playing against yourself and the course. It shouldn't matter who else is playing, what their score is, or where on the leader board you are. During a competition, these factors can affect your decisions, like when to play aggressive or when to sit back conservatively, but at the end of the day you're just going out there and trying to shoot the best round of golf you can. Once you decide to go for a birdie, you still have to make it happen. In basketball, and indeed in most sports, you're playing directly against your opponent. It's an action/reaction relationship that takes place in real time. You're fighting for rebounds, contesting shots, moving to get open, all while another player physically stands in your way and tries to do the same. For that reason, Jordan's rings or Roger Federer's majors will always be more impressive to me than any number of events Tiger Woods may win in his career.

- With all this talk about Tom Brady, Michael Jordan and Tiger woods, I'm throwing this out there just for the sake of greatness. The music is funky, but what the hell. He has to be up there on the list of all-time athletes that completely dominated their sport.

- After watching the NBA playoffs this year, it's clear that Marv Albert is the best at what he does. By the way, I just remembered that Joe Buck does every big sports event aired on FOX and threw up a little in my mouth.

- Simmons had a tremendous article about the shelf-life of greatness in sports that I thought was really well done. The basis of the article was the "48 Special" performance by LeBron James in the playoffs and how people feel (unnecessarily) the need to diminish the accomplishments of past players to raise the status of present ones. Even if you don't really care for basketball (that's right Phil, I'm talking to you), this is definitely a good read for anyone that likes any sport.