Love and Hate

Got me thinking from a conversation today, what I love and what I hate. Well........

What I Love

1. Genuine women: no immature girls, no fake bullshit. Smart, outspoken, light-hearted and playful; that's all I want, though it seems hard to find.
2. Fantastic Films: I love movies, especially the ones that are well done. Comedy, western, war, drama, if a movie does what it's supposed to and does it well, I'm all about it.
3. Food
4. Competition: life is boring unless you are trying to show up somebody else, or prove your worth and merit in something. Sports, games, anything... I'll take it all on.
   
5. Honesty and Passion: two qualities I really enjoy in others and myself. People who are honest and don't mislead you always get my respect, and people who are passionate about what they do really appeal to me (perhaps why Brian Dawkins is my favorite Eagle, or Kevin Spacey my favorite actor).
6. New socks
   
7. Humor: I can't imagine life without laughing at random bullshit with friends and family. Sarcasm and clever wit cater to my liking the most, I just hate when people can't take a fucking joke and are way too serious.
8. Pool (like you didn't know it was coming)
   

What I Hate

1. Fake people: toolbags, beer bitches, posers, wiggers... you name it, I probably hate it. Stop being fake and try to show us who you really are instead of putting up this wall of bullshit that I have to deal with now.
2. ***Smoking: Can't believe I forgot this one. This is the worst with girls. I swear, chicks lose so many points with me by smoking, you can easily go from a perfect 10 to a 6 just like that.
   
3. Stubbing my toe
4. Extremes: really hot, really cold, ultra conservative, hippy liberals, you get the idea. Whoever it was that said "the world is black and white, there is no grey" was probably a pussy who decided that a middleground was a bad idea.
5. Spoiled brats
6. Overly serious people: lighten up pleeeeeeeeeeeeease. Just because you want to hate, or are in a perpetual bad mood, doesn't mean you can't laugh when something is funny.
7. MTV: die already will you!!! And take all the reality/idol/extreme makeover/unoriginal shows with you. Go away and never come back.
8. Bees and mosquitoes: granted, the one makes honey, but in the summer when you are trying to enjoy the outdoors, these guys make life hell.
9. Fat chicks in tight clothes

This list is subject to change, so it may change as things occur to me.

Ok, this was a pretty pointless post, what, you wanna fight about it?

A Fair Warning . . .

Don't read this blog.

No, seriously. Don't bother reading it. It could be harmful if you do.

It was brought to my attention that a recent entry offended a friend of mine. Let it be known that it is not my intention to shit on anybody or make people look bad. If you feel that I do this, then I apologize.

However, this is a place where I come to write down not only what is going on in my life, but also a place for me to convey how I feel and what I think. Many times, as I'm sure is evident in most people's blogs, their current mood is projected onto their entries.

This weekend I found myself in a bad situation. I am sure, as I have assured the person in question, that nothing was done to intentionally screw me or anything. Yet the situation was one that has been all-too familiar in my life. It is a situation that I wouldn't want ANYBODY to find themselves in, and it's a situation that, when given the history of the people involved, can be hard to discount as unintentional or unique. I am quick to forgive and leave the past where it is, but I shouldn't be expected to forget the past and not use the lessons of history to form an opinion on a current events.

If you come here, then expect nothing less than what I am: I am honest, I won't pull punches, and I'm using this medium as a sort of outlet for these qualities, along with the desire to tell stories to share with others. If I say something that may be offensive and you want to talk about it, then feel free to IM me as the friend who was surprised at my statements did, but please don't take what I say here too personally. I come here to describe, to rant, to vent, to tell people what I'm doing and why and how I feel.

Hell, who knows, there might not even be a significant number of people that read this shit I write anyway, but here I will officially write my disclaimer to the audience.

So with that said: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.


Now I'm going to try to find something to do tonight since I did practically nothing this weekend. If you want to get together this week/weekend, let me know. No more soccer, so Sundays are officially part of the weekend again.

End of it All

This weekend is practically over, and while some parts were pleasant surprises, there was also the unfortunate return of disappointment.

With it being fresh in my mind, first I'll touch on how my team did this weekend in the Thanksgiving Tournament in West Deptford. Aside from the fact that I didn't get to sleep in any day this weekend, which absolutely blows as a 20 year old with the first four day weekend of his co-op, it was a good experience seeing how the team played against a more talented opponent.

Friday we played two games, the first at 8 am. It was a very good performance, Mike had two goals and Bob had the first in the game, which turned out to be the game winner when the final score was 5-0. It was good because everyone played well, being aggressive and going after the ball, and really connecting well on offense. We even got this kid Chris up on offense in the second half and saw him score his first goal of the season. The second game that day was against a tougher opponent, but I think that the team playing around in between the games made them tired. We still won 2-1, but I know we coulda/shoulda played better. Here are some good pics for our game.

Saturday we had a game at 10:30. This game ended in a tie, and I think the reason is that we got complacent after seeing that we were playing against a team that had a couple of girls on it. They came out of the gate real hungry and scored first, and actually I think the girls were some of the best players we had played against all year. Some of the frustration from this game, unfortunately, spilled over to today. Two wins and a tie clinched our seat in the semi's today, and there we faced a really talented team who played two leagues above us in the regular season. It was not easy watching our team get picked apart, not only were we not playing well but the other team was playing the best soccer we'd seen all year. We got absolutely crushed, 6-0, and it was a real shitty way to end the season. I think it was a bit of a wake up call though for the team in regards to showing us what we need to work on for next year. Overall though, we still got far for a small club and the boys really did have a great season.

Another "big" event of this weekend was the traditional homecoming game back home against our town rivals. No one pays attention to the game, you basically just go to schmooze with people from HS that you haven't seen in a while. Some people that I wanted to see I saw, but mostly no one was there. I spent most of the time there talking with my friend Amy who I hadn't seen in a coons age. She has a baby now, so that was interesting, but it was good to talk with her and see what she's been up to since school ended. I also saw the magnanimous Jon Proulx. I talked to him often in school, and played soccer with him, and actually he went to Drexel freshman year. Why didn't he come back you ask? Well, he married his HS sweetheart, moved to Georgia and joined the army. He's a good guy who kinda rubbed people the wrong way for his brutal honesty and positive outlook when things of that nature were looked down upon in the big scheme of a little town. Truly, a man before his time.

Aside from these bright spots, the day didn't see anyone else come. Girls like Samantha O and Schlitz were no where to be found. Bob Walsh was a no show. I really wanted to see Melissa, its been so long, and with things that I've heard have happened recently I wanted to see how she was, but she didn't come.

And then there's Ray and Mike. What can I say about true friends like these. Not only have common interests that we shared been disappearing more and more every year, and not only have they been so impressive with the way they handle themselves with alcohol and weed, but then they continued their historic streak of friendly outreach by not telling me about the large gathering of people I'd consider friends that took place Wednesday night. Add this to not showing up for a second year in a row to the football game, and the word disappointing comes to mind.

Wow.... this weekend DID suck a fuck. I didn't get to sleep in, my team lost in terrible fashion in the semi-finals, my friends continued on their "der" fest, and with Kent at the Lanc and Jay procuring a ticket for the Eagles game today (lucky bastard, what a titty), I essentially did nothing interesting to speak of this whole weekend. Awesome.

Brand New Ventures

Couple of new things going on.

First off is Jay and Kent's new website, rakebackheros. It's actually a pretty good idea, and anyone who plays poker online should check it out. The primary reason for it's existence is to give players the opportunity to sign up for rakeback. Basically, every hand you play online gets a certain percentage taken out, this is how the casino/website makes money. Rakeback is a feature some sites offer to attract and keep new players. By going through Jay and Kent though, people can get a premium percentage, currently around 35%, of all their rake from played hands back. This may not seem like a lot, but I know Kent, a regular 1-2 and 2-4 player, has seen almost $1000 of rake that would've gone to the website back in his account over a period of just 12 days!

Other than the offer they give to other players, they will also be posting some articles on the game that they write, links to their websites, and other stuff. Right now I'm doing what I can to help try and spread the word, and also help them with the site design, but it is a good idea and hopefully it works out for them.

On my front, pool is the hot topic. When I play, I always try to analyze my play on the table and look for any places where I can improve. I feel that the next breakthrough I need to make in order to take my game to the next level is utilizing the closed bridge on almost every shot. Success at anything, especially pool, is based on consistency. A loose and unsteady bridge can lead to missed shots and missed opportunities. By using a closed bridge on shots other than just draw shots, I'm hoping I can eliminate a good deal of the remaining inconsistency in my game and really start crushing dreams.

A point I should probably touch on is where "dream crushing" started. Basically it came from, you guessed it, pool. I know, my life is a pathetic series of repeating events. Last year, my game really took off, more than even I expected. Table runs happened frequently and I was playing the best pool of my life to that point. Sophomore year saw us adopt an open area for all students called Ross Commons as our billiards home (the table at the dorm blew harder than Paris Hilton on film). This lead to a steady flow of new players that we never saw before. As to be expected, we would quickly do away with these players in a show of raw talent and skill that they could not compete with. I can't tell you how many times some poor Emmo-toolbag group of freshmen would come up with their Spencer's $25 pool cue, expecting to kick ass, only to have their dreams crushed!

Being that I was the one to crush the most dreams, the nickname was born. That, and Tegatron 4000.... but that's a whole other story.

A Weekend In Review

While looking forward to the ridiculously short week and multiple turkey sandwiches that lay head, looking back proves that this weekend held its own in the grand scheme of things.

Friday was pretty uneventful, basically consisting of me heading over to the luxurious palace that is the King of Men's apartment. There we watched some college football and hockey, and rooted on Kent as he courageously played poker, kindly taking money off of many a shortstacks. If he hadn't gotten out-boated when steamrolling some shmuck heads up, he could've had a better night.

Saturday started off like shit. Woke up at 7:30 IN THE MORNING to go have practice. This would have been OK if not for two things: it was scientifically freezing outside, and we waited around for 15 minutes before canceling practice from lack of people showing up. No really parents, don't bother calling, my dad and I love making pointless trips cross state on Saturday mornings. No matter, took the brothers Tegan to Webber's diner for some breakfast action.

Then it was off to play pool. Kent came over, and we met Jay in Pheonixville at 1 o'clock. Unfortunately for them I started off strong, playing at probably 89% of normal capacity, and with both of them slow out of the gate, I won every game but one until the clock hit 5. Jay was the only one to beat me over this time, but he was so frustrated with his game that he left when the rates for table time went up, so then it was me and Kent. At this point, my game dropped off a bit and Kent's really picked up, so he got his revenge on me for a good hour and a half. After that, we both played pretty mediocre pool til we left at 9. The place got really busy, mostly fucking loud ass highschool kids. No one in the roomed looked like they could handle us even when we were playing bad, so confidence was at a high.

Funny thing happened when a couple of what had to be 14 year old girls got the table next to ours. Every time Kent or I pulled an amazing shot they were watching, but they got pretty pissed because we weren't staring at them like they wanted. Sounds stupid yes, but it was pretty obvious that they wanted to be wanted. Before they left, I'm pretty sure I heard one of them say that I/Kent/we were gay, which we had a good laugh about later. Whatever, I'm not about to try to impress and hit on a couple of Raisins girls. Finished the night with some Boston Market and laughing at the cinematic genius (sarcasm) of "Freddy vs. Jason", then hit the sack.

Today was the big day, my teams last regular season game. The first half was scoreless, but after a good pep-talk and switching to the down hill half of the field with the sun and wind at our back, the Audubon Dragons proceeded to not only score 6 unanswered goals, but crush the hearts and souls of the opposing team, poor little bastards. Mike had his fifth goal of the year to take his place at second in that statistical category, and Bob chalked up two more assists on the year giving him the absolute lead with seven. Yea, I'm bragging, what you wanna fight about it? After the game, we handed out awards and trophys to the kids and had some food, so it was a good time. The season was such a success, and the team overall really improved and played better this year, and now we can look forward to the Thanksgiving Tournament.

On a bad note the Eagles lost. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . yea.

Not really anything else to say about that.

People Are Idiots

Time for the obligatory anger post.

Jay had warned me to not listen to Angelo Cataldi in the mornings on 610 WIP, and I didn't listen. I thought "He's kinda annoying to listen to, but he doesn't say anything that bad and has some good people around him."

Oh how wrong I was.

Today, this JOKE of a sports reporter not only said that the Eagles should give in and take TO back, but then had the balls to say that they should have given him more money like he wanted!

No one doubts TO's ability on the field, but now people all around the city want to sell their souls in order to try and save and unsaveable season. TO was on the team when the Eagles were 4-3, he got suspended the day before the Washington game which had to throw off the game plan of the Eagles. So essentially, the team is just 0-1 without TO when they weren't that good to begin with.

This is a man that sold out his QB, the very man who got him on the team and broke records with, when the Eagles lost the Super Bowl. He's a man who decided one year into a seven year contract that he wanted to demand more money. He's a man who puts himself and his ego ahead of the team, a player who says the team would be better with another QB and a player who called the organization "classless."

To all those who want to take him back now that the season is effectively over: GO FUCK YOURSELVES YOU GUTLESS PIECES OF SHIT. Andy Reid and 5 have had incredible success with and without TO, and we will have it again in this city. Are we better on the field without him right now? No. Is it better in the long run for the organization and city to get rid of this locker-room cancer? YES!!!

To listen to a man who is familiar with the city and sports here completely sell out made me scream at my radio. I'll stick with Eskin in the afternoons exclusively now.



On top of this fiasco, I read today that most Americans right now want the country to become less involved in world problems and be more inward focused. Another great example of people selling out their values out of fear and unhappiness with the now. I believe the last time America wanted this, a little thing called WWII festered and happened.

To hear that people have so quickly forgotten 9/11 and want to ignore the problem of terrorism like we did 4 years ago makes me ashamed to be an American.

Pool and Me

Pool is something I am incredibly passionate about. I've always been extremely competitive, and pool was a great outlet for that aspect of my personality.

Freshman year, coming into school, it was a little tough to start to meet people. I've never been a partier or a drinker, so trying to run in that crowd just didn't make sense to me. In the first week or so, I just tried to get to know some of the people on my floor and classmates, but this caused two problems. One, many people on the floor were partiers, and two, many of my classmates were complete toolbags/assclowns.

What a dilemma. But wait, there's good news! My dorm was set up perfectly for attracting a billiards crowd. The table was maybe 20 ft. from the front door, in plain sight of anyone coming in or going. On top of that, our building happened to have a large group of guys who had either played in the past or were interested in playing. Pot heads, rockers, metros, RA's... it didn't matter, they all just wanted to play. Every night, there would easily be 6-10 people at the table at any given time, hanging out and shooting a game.

I met most of my friends at the table, most notably Jay and Eric. Never playing before, the high level of competition and skill made it a very competitive but easy going environment. I quickly became obsessed with the game, spending more time there than probably anyone else in the building, to the point that I even ran a very successful and intense tournament near the end of the year.

So far I've bought a total of 3 cues, my recent one the fruit of a tournament victory last year. Ok, so maybe $300 of my own money is a little much, but come on! Really a good investment. Between the friends I've made through the game and the total escape it is for me from daily hassles, I don't think I'll ever be able to give the game up.

To be honest, playing for cash has crossed my mind. I can say without ego that I would be able to make a profit against most players at school if I wanted. But, as gay as it sounds, I desperately don't want to lose the "purity" of the game and what it means to me. I think if I played for money, suddenly my passion becomes my job, and it loses value to me.

I primarily play 8-ball since 9-ball is a real step up in skill level. I could bang around with it, but if I can't play it well yet then I don't want to play at all. Kent has gotten really good, to the point that he is pretty much even competition with me and Jay. Right now I try to play on the weekends, but hope that at some point I can get a table of my own for wherever I find myself at the start of classes this year.

A Brief History of Time

Let me take this opportunity to give everyone a quick overview of the last few years.

Let me start off by saying that Highschool in Audubon was great. I had a lot of great friends there and tons of memories. From playing basketball, to cards at Mike's, to Ray's sister, to story time with Joe, the Snow Bowl. . . so much I can't even go on. My core of friends remained the same ( mostly Mike, Ray, Brian and myself) even when the supporting cast would change.

I really, truly believe that while all those years shaped me as a person, these last few at Drexel have seen me come into my own and establish how I want to live. When talking about Highschool, people tend to forget that in a small town everyone has roles and that it's hard to act outside of that role. In a way, you are forced to live and act and talk a certain way because if you don't you can kiss your social life goodbye. At college, everyone has a clean slate, so to speak. While I had no problem with things went for 18 years of my life, college gave me the first opportunity to act, talk and be what I really wanted to all those years.

The biggest impact was on expressing my thoughts and ideas, which in a way is linked to this current undertaking of mine. Meeting tons of new people, I wanted to make sure I fell in with people who related to what I really was, not to what the mask we all put on was. Jacob and Jay really made it easy for me to do this. For those who don't know Jacob (currently a resident of Florida), he is truly a man who speaks his mind. It was almost a shock at first to hear someone be so open and frank, without fear or regard for whose feathers he ruffled.

Jay was similar in this regard. They were also fiercely loyal, like me, enabling us to really come together as true friends. Events beyond control of anyone save the retards in charge took one of the trio away, and I really do miss having him around, but the impact time spent with him had on my comfort level with myself and my opinions will hopefully last forever.

Freshman year at Calhoun was great. I met so many people and had such a good time, all the while staying true to my beliefs and principles. Pool and poker became big parts of my life, occupying much of my free time, and I really became passionate about them. I also had a great chance to explore the city of Philadelphia. The city was a huge factor in me wanting to go to Drexel, and living there gave me the first real chance I had to check out the ins and outs of the town. South St., the scientific Cheesesteak evaluation, countless trips on the subway, even the simple act of walking around became infinitely more entertaining then it used to back home.

sophomore year brought my first co-op, and my next good friend. The King of Men is a strange character, I never got to really meet him because of the group he ran with, but with the loss of friends on both counts, Kent joined "Team Discovery Channel" and the good times got even better. My skills in poker increased a lot from watching him and Jay roll, and I returned the favor by taking Kent under my wing and molding him into a formidable pool shark.

So now I find myself in my pre-Junior year. I've developed some incredibly strong friendships here, while still trying to keep the ties alive with my back-home-buddies as best I can. I feel good about myself and the direction my life is heading in, and hope that things continue to get better.

Chapter One

It was the best of times.... wait, that wasn't me. On the advice of Jay and Kent (or a raging jealousy over their internet-savvy actions) I've finally decided to get this project under way.

I hope this will turn out to be a good way to get my thoughts and ideas out there for everyone to read, and also give myself an easy outlet to update people on what's going on in my life.

So without further adieu. . .