It's August, which can mean only one thing: it's almost September. Yes, that's right, and with the simple flip of a page from my High School Musical Calendar we will officially welcome the Fall. While summer and winter may get a lot of hype, and as nice as spring can be, the fall season has to be the best. There's no argument: sweaters, jeans, Eagles, Flyers, fantasy football, soccer, Thanksgiving, cool weather and hot chocolate. . . . shall I continue? When you're as advanced in age as I am and summer break is no longer relevant, the advantages of autumn really shine.Perhaps one truly underrated benefit of the change of season is that we finally free ourselves of the second-most dreaded month of the year, because let's get real here (February aside) August brings nothing to the table. It's way too hot, the humidity kills, baseball is the only "sport" going and there's not a worthy holiday to speak of. If anything, it's really just a tease; a roadblock in our path to September and the change of season that accompanies it.
About the only decent thing that happened this month was that I got a chance to follow up the Tegan family July getaway with an August-appropriate visit to the Monahans on the Island of Long. Our usually distant Uncle Chris also made the trip up, which meant that all three of my uncles were present and accounted for. For the most part we simply relaxed pool-side at my uncle Keith's place, but all the kids were running around and the grill was pumping out food almost as fast as we could eat it, so personal illness aside (of course I catch a bug the day before leaving . . . thanks a lot August, you prick) I certainly had no complaints.
But outside the family vacation the month has been, for the most part, utterly uneventful, which may help explain why I'm practically drooling at the mere thought of the upcoming season. Wait a minute, this all seems very familiar . . . .
For weeks, months even, I had been looking ahead to the month of September to save me...
Hmm, I guess my disdain for August is a yearly thing, but I suppose that helps prove my point. Consider as well that living here in Philadelphia, with it's incredible sports atmosphere, combined with my previously outlined obsession with athletic competition, only amplifies the importance of the fall. A fact which led to ponder what actually makes this city such a sports dynamo? What makes sports in the city of brotherly love better than anywhere else?
Well I'm glad I asked.
Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to present the Top 20 Reasons Why Philly Kicks Ass as a Sports Town. In my personal variation of the "American Top 40", I shall outline exactly what makes sports here so special. This is not a remembrance of the greatest sports moments in this towns history. That would be too easy. Instead, this is a list of the many factors that which yearly make sports here more enjoyable and unique than anywhere else.20. Rivalry - If the measure of a team is it's rivals, then the list a Philadelphia fan can produce must be one of the most impressive. Historically, teams here have been very important over the span of their respective sport's existence, and so have their closest and most hated rivals: Dallas Cowboys, NY Rangers, Boston Celtics, NY Giants, Atlanta Braves, the Devils, the Pistons, the Mets, the Penguins. You'd be hard pressed to come up with a more imposing list than that, and in the case of each rival, the hatred is palpable. So why is this reason #20? Well, any time the Cowboys or Giants are involved, I refuse to put them anywhere but the absolute bottom.
19. Blue Horizon - Sadly, even the most phanatic phan may find themselves wiki-searching this one, but believe me when I say that the Legendary Blue Horizon is one of the best hidden sports gems this city has to offer. And don't misinterpret my use of the word "legendary" as simply a colorful adjective. Not long ago, boxing was one of the premier interests of the country, until money and corruption began to ruin it. Yet the Blue Horizon shines on as one of the last humble churches of this dying religion.
18. Little Three - Unlike the Big Three (which will be mentioned later), the little 3 is what I like to call the tri-fecta of racing-style spectacles this city holds every year. I'm referring of course to the Penn Relays, the Schuylkill Regatta and the Philadelphia International Championship Bike Race. Every year during the summer months, the best of the best from across the country (and in some cases the world) make their way here to take part in three of the most respected and important events in their sports. The crowds are huge, the competitors many, and the entertainment value . . . well to be honest, they don't necessarily rock my world. Yet while I may not wait in line for a ticket, the outcomes are usually of interest and the relevance completely obvious.
17. Pats/Genos - Does cut-throat economic competition count as a sport? Well, in my book it does. And in this case, we're talking about the two biggest heavyweights in the biggest food pissing-contest this city has to offer. Pats over Genos. Genos over Pats. No matter which you prefer, it's a point of discussion and (in some cases) violent argument in this city, and I embrace it. Whether you're attracted to Rocky's food of choice or shiny neon lights, wiz or provolone, the cheesesteak battle is as important a feature of the Philly sports terrain as anything else.
16. FDR - You're sitting in traffic, on your way to watch your favorite team play a crucial game with playoff implications. The tickets cost an arm and a leg, the seats aren't that good, and while you stare at the retarded collection of bumper stickers on the car in front of you, you're wife/girlfriend complains because she can't understand your sports obsession. The last thing you feel like doing is paying some asshole $20 to let you park ten minutes away from the stadium. That's why, whenever I'm on my way to South Philly, I thank God that he created FDR Park. OK, maybe God didn't create it, I'm sure it was some city planner, but you get the idea. If you don't know already, let me drop this knowledge on you: it's big, it's free and it's not much further than most of the overpriced lots in the area. If you don't feel like walking the extra steps then be my guest and waste a twenty spot that could be used on dogs and beer. Did I mention that FDR also doubles as an actual park with picnic tables, skate parks, tennis courts and baseball diamonds? Well I just did.15. Tykes on Ice - A beautiful tradition of the Flyers franchise in which two teams of local youngsters go head-to-head during the second intermission of home games to showcase their skills, skate slowly, fall down a lot, and never ever ever ever EVER score. I swear, these kids score about as frequently as Rosie O'Donnell. I've only seen it once (a goal, not the Rosie thing), and it was one of the most memorable moments of my life. The fact remains that this Flyers tradition is one of the best around. After all, what could be better than wide-eyed hockey loving kids playing their hearts out to the encouraging cheers of some of the best hockey fans in the country? Pure and awesome.
14. Eagles cheerleaders - Call me sexist, call me a pig, but how could any man resist cheerleaders? It's really not my fault, I swear. The Quality-Control Supervisors of Applause and General Fanaticism employed by the Eagles are some of the best and most beautiful found anywhere. In fact, their yearly calendar and constantly improving website have placed them atop the NFL cheerleader food chain as they are consistently voted #1 by football fans. Did I mention they're hot?
13. Chickie's and Pete's - I'm not a fan of needing two apostrophes in one title, but everything else about this mega sports bar is legit. Last year, my Uncle Eugene and his NYC cop buddies came down to check out a Mets/Phils game with me as their brotherly-love sherpa (this was the same game where Aaron Rowand broke his face making a running grab in center field off of Xavier Nady). Surprisingly, guys who have to watch games at shitty Shea stadium were most impressed with C&P's. The proximity to the stadiums is perfect, there are jumbo TV's showing nothing but sports on every wall, the bar is stocked and the food is quick yet surprisingly good (mmmm crab fries). The service can be hit or miss (I've had my best waitress ever there named Brook, but I've also had one of my worst), but it's definitely a valuable commodity for any fan for pre or post-game festivities.
12. Flying Flyers - You know the expression "having an ace up your sleeve"? For a Philly fan, the Flyers are that ace. While the other three franchises in the city experience highs and lows, and for the most part it's been lows, the Flyers are consistently a contender. How consistent? After winning back-to-back championships in '74 and '75, the Flyers have made the playoffs 25 out of 31 seasons, including 5 trips to the Finals. Having the ability to bank on local success like that, year in and year out, is a valuable security blanket for any sports fan.11. Wingbowl - I swear, this completes the eating portion of the exam. Every year, half the men in the greater city area tailgate in the A.M. hours of the January cold so they can watch a handful of the best competitive eaters in the world attack buffalo-sauced poultry parts on the eve of the biggest sports event in the country; the Big Game (due to copyright laws, the NFL will not allow me to write the words "Super" and "Bowl" as they have been trademarked). I cannot possibly convey, in words or pictures, how awesome this concept actually is or it's importance to the city. If you can't understand, then I can't help you. Trust me when I say it's kinda a big deal.
10. Big "Six" - To many it's the Big Five, but I'm from Drexel and biased. The cluster of local Universities make the city a national basketball hotbed and do much to make this city different from most major cities in the country. With a large college-student community to add a certain flavor to the social fabric of the city, these schools also guarantee that at least one of the group will be in the hunt during a little thing called March Madness (basketball fan or not, the NCAA tournament for hard court glory is easily one of the three biggest events in the country). The group is also unique in that they all flex their respective schedules to play each other every year in spite of the fact that they play in different conferences, which makes for a special kind of rivalry.
9. Stadiums - In the past, the Vet struck fear into the hearts of opposing players and visiting fans. It was large and imposing, dirty and "turfed", and it was ours. While I was sad to see it go, I was also happy to see the raising of two new stadiums in it's place. In sports, teams always brag about their new homes and use it as a measure of their success and the strength of their fan base. In the last 11 years, we've seen all four of our teams find shiny new homes. The Wachovia Center, Citizens Bank Park and the Link are all impressive and fan friendly and each is within a stones throw of the other. I've been in all three and was impressed each and every time, and while the Vet may be gone, the Spectrum and it's rich history still stands. Combining it's presence with the three new stadiums makes the sports complex a special place.
8. EAGLES! - The Eagles chant is special if only for the fact that it has no time limit. Football season or not, it doesn't matter to the die-hard fan. I've heard it at baseball games and on the radio, I've heard it in bathrooms and bars, I've heard it yelled from the window of a passing cab in May. It's like a manly musk that hangs in the air, communicating our dominance to the lesser sports species and scaring off scavengers.
7. The King - I've written here about Howard Eskin before. The premier personality on AM sports radio, the King of Bling is a local treasure. First of all, he knows sports. Well, in fairness, he knows baseball, football and basketball (he's not a big hockey guy). If you want to know why a guy played the way he did, where someone should bat in a lineup, or want to understand the nuances of the game, Howard is your man. Secondly, he's got inside sources coming out the ass. He's basically the deep-throat of the Philly sports community. If there is a whisper of an upcoming trade or player acquisition, Eskin is usually the first on the station to break the story. Third, the guy is straight up entertaining. Most people bitch that he's narrow-minded and rude, and to a degree that may be true, but most times his insults are directed at people who really don't know what the fuck they are talking about, and I enjoy his brand of blatant regulation. For local sports talk radio in it's purest form, Eskin is and always will be the King.6. The Dancing Guy at the Flyers Games (aka Shawn Hill) - This is pretty self-explanatory. Basically, there's this overweight white guy with Flyers season tickets in the nose-bleed sections who always busts a move during the "get pumped up" music. It's always at some crucial point in the game when they turn up the house music, start showing fans jumping and hollering on the jumbo screen, and this guy always ends up stealing the show. His pop and lock skills are on par with Justin Timberlake and his comedic value reminiscent of Chris Farley. I was at a game during the regular season where it was actually his birthday: they announced it on the big screen, played a funky beat, and let him do his thing for a good two minutes as the house went nuts and gave him a long standing ovation. Check out this tribute video and watch for the point where you can actually tell when he goes up on the screen and the ladies swoon, or this one where him dancing to thriller becomes an event in itself.
5. Jersey of South - New Jersey critics, here me out on this one. Remember that scene in Braveheart when the Irish betray the British, join up with William Wallace and his lovable lads and fight for freedom? The scene illustrates an important point which is that every cause needs men from many walks of life to take up the good fight. Pennsylvania natives may be a little bit possessive with their sports teams, but they shouldn't be. Like it or not, South Jersey is called home by as many Philly sports fans as the greater Philadelphia area, a very simple but very important truth that should not be overlooked, and their cheers and boos are just as loud and powerful. It also perfectly demonstrates the allure of the Philly sports scene in that people of another state, a state with it's own sports teams, would rather declare their allegiance to the bright lights from across the river. So I say cheer on Philly faithful, and welcome.
4. National Attention - A big reason Philadelphia is so special as a sports town is because the children of our beloved teams can be found in some of the most prominent positions of entertainment and national analysis. We have John Kruk always anchoring the Baseball Tonight crew; Sir Charles Barkley as the centerpiece of the NBA on TNT; Mike Golic on nationally syndicated "Mike and Mike in the Morning"; Ron Jaworski on NFL Live and in the Monday Night Football booth; Keith Jones in studio for NHL games on Versus; and Steven A. Smith and Sal Paolantonio providing valuable input for ESPN. It's clear that we've infected every facet of national sports media and we're here to stay.
3. No Yuppies - If there is one thing that fans in this city are more proud of than their teams, it's the tradition of losing created by them. Teams in this city are notorious for losing, and that pride in losing is prominent throughout our sports subculture. It's what makes Philadelphia fans different from every other fan. We want to win and we bitch and moan about losing, but at the same time, we wear that pain and suffering we've endure like a badge of honor. There is at least one benefit to having a culture of losing however, and that's a lack of yuppie fans. Yuppie fans are nothing more than luxury fans: fans created by people desperate to be cool and who view a shiny new championship as their ticket to show off. Yuppie fans are like a cancer to a city. They reproduce rapidly and asexually, lack knowledge of players and fail to understand even the most basic concepts of the sport. They frustrate the real fans, make them want to avoid going out to the games, and essentially eat away at the solid foundation of a good fanbase. Yet winning is crucial to their existence, and winning is something that this city hasn't seen in over twenty years. So while we may be lacking the banners in recent times, the number of "quality" sports fans is as abundant as ever.
2. The Big 3 - The Big 3 refers to the trinity of sportscasters that make the memorable calls for our favorite teams: Merrill Reese for Eagles radio, Jim Jackson for televised Flyers games, and the best of them all, Harry Kalas for Phillies play-by-play on both radio and TV. Each may have their own unique style, but all three are considered the cream of the sports broadcasting crop. With intimate knowledge of the sport, a natural understanding of the flow of the game, powerful playcalling and likeable personalities, these three perfectly capture the action of the game and call it with the flare and intensity of a storyteller.
Harry is the best of them all. Not limited to a single sport, he has also been THE voice for all the season perspectives and classic game highlights for NFL Films and is one of the most recognizable voices in all of sports. When a fan watches his team, he wants more than just the pictures and sounds of the game. These three provide that extra something that transcends the sport, and the Philadelphia fan is lucky to have them.1. Phanatic - The team captain and best player on the Philadelphia Sports team. A charter member of the Mascot Hall of Fame, the Phanatic is one of the most recognizable and lovable characters in all of sports. Widely regarded as the best mascot around, both locally and nationally, the Phanatic and his seemingly endless array of comedic tools is one of the most powerful entities in the Philadelphia sporting world. Riding high on his ATV, mocking opposing players, dancing on the dugouts, kissing fans and security guards, throwing pelvic thrusts in the direction of enemy pitchers . . . there is no path the Phanatic won't take in his quest to do everything possible to ensure a Phillies victory and, perhaps more importantly, guarantee a good experience for the fans. A big green monster with balls of steel, hips of fury and a heart of gold, the Phanatic represents the best and most lovable qualities of the Philly sports fan.
