Small Man, Big Ideas

Since there isn't anything special to share, I thought that I would take some time to share a couple of, how should I say, "choice" stories with all of you. These are from the last week or so, and should give some of you a closer look into my personal universe, and for others . . .

. . . well, maybe you'll just get a good laugh.

The Caveman
Last week was the week of Warcraft, where Kent's computer was broke and Brett's was still refusing to properly install the game. I was sitting at the table directly next to Brett on my laptop playing, and he was trying to make some money online. So I look over just in time to see that Brett has lost $200 of his small roll when his pocket tens got beat when pocket nines flopped a set. For what would be the most brief of times, he was actually somewhat calm and silent. After quietly describing to a shirtless Kent what happened, the eruption finally happened. Brett grabs his keyboard, swings it just inches from my face, and with all the force he can muster with the aid of gravity, begins to bash the shit out of his monitor. Whatever sanity he had left led him to focus on the hard corner of the box, which did little damage to the screen but enacted heavy damage on the blunt object in his grasp. As Kent thinks that he hears glass breaking and turns around, I am literally showered with keys from his keyboard. They lightly pelt my face, some even going down the back of my shirt.

When the dust finally settles, Brett is storming off to his room, Kent and myself are paralyzed in awe, and the keyboard was on life support. When Kent finally peers over the computer to see not broken glass and a serious problem, but a key-less keyboard and a debris field of buttons, we both lost it. For awhile we tried to hold in the laughter out of fear of Brett's rage resurfacing, but when he returned with a smirk on his face, all bets were off.

Facial Hair of Insanity
Kent is ridiculous. First he refuses to come out and shoot some pool even though he has no computer and, therefore, nothing to do. Then, he reveals to us that he's never been able to understand why all these foreigners in the U.S. are so concerned about getting a Visa card, which he thought was just a credit card. Later on Sunday night, with Keyur wanting to see when the next train comes through and me stopping by to check my account since I was kind enough to leave my computer at Kent's so he could use it for another day, Kent finishes up a quest on WoW and then ACTUALLY STARTS A NEW ONE. This of course led to us having to wait another two hours, which made me aggravated and Keyur miss his train into the city.

But it is his heroic antics from Saturday he will be remembered for here.

The $100 NL cash game fell through after a few no-shows, so with only four of us, we played a quick little $10 tournament just to kill some time. Then came the hand of manliness. Brett calls from the SB and sees Kent raise him preflop. Not being one to lay down here and wanting to play his suited connector, he calls. Then the flop comes with a small pair on the board and two clubs. Brett bets out 600, more than double the size of the pot and effectively committing himself to a raise. Sensing the same overbetting-to-take feel of this enormous bet, the bearded wonder comes to a startling conclusion: not only does he KNOW that Brett has nothing, but he also thinks that he can make Brett fold if he raises. So Kent goes all-in, and what do our lovely little boys have after the call from Brett???

5-2 of clubs against Q-2 off. Keyur and I are on the floor in hysterics as the board pairs again on the turn, giving Brett multiple outs to chop. Unfortunately, from a humor standpoint, a queen hit on the river, giving Kent a better two pair. I personally would have liked to have seen Q high hold up for what was essentially the tournament at that point.

Sherpa with a Dream
Keyur reminds me why I love foreigners. Everybody knows one of these guys. They are always looking for that quick money scheme, that plan that is gonna turn them into the next young "I made it on my own" millionaire. When he boasted that Kent should make him a partner in his rakeback operation, Kent asked him what kind of ideas he had.

Here is the outline of his master plan:

Buy a house in the city ( you know, since we can all just "buy" a $250K + property in the middle of the city as college students). Then, let about twenty or so kids from Drexel live there and don't charge rent. So now you're wondering "how can you make money by letting people live in your house that you just bought for free?" Simple. Mold them into an online poker-playing army that does your bidding. After all, all you have to do is teach them how to always win at poker, bankroll them on top of paying for their living expenses, accept all losses, make sure they play at least 4 hours a day and make at least $8 an hour . . . and let the money roll in.

LoL. This was my favorite part of the weekend. What made us laugh at him even more was that he made it seem like financing a poker army while in college and strapped for cash is a much easier venture then trying to get people to sign up under your affiliate account for rakeback deals.

I'm waiting on a good one for some others. Cross your T's and dot your I's Jay.