Comfort Level

One thing that I've enjoyed about my current job is that, unlike my last co-op, there is a stronger and more dominant social force in the office. Last year, it was me and three other lab rats cut off from the rest of the staff. This group is younger and more interactive, and there's a larger number of people to come in contact with. With higher volumes of conversation, however, comes increased levels of frustration: disagreements happen more frequently here as compared to Chester Water, but that comes with the territory.

"Brokeback Mountain" has been a hotbed of conversation, not only here, but throughout the pop-culture world. Everyone's been talking about it, so it's not surprising to me that it eventually came up here. The men have been put on the spot to go see the movie, and when some of us said that we had absolutely no desire to see it, the accusations flew and words like "afraid" and "homophobic" started to fly. Luckily (for me), my evasion skills are covert level, because unless I want to get involved, I'm a fairly quite person (people who know me won't believe that LoL). But given the atmosphere created by a blog, I felt this would be a good place to address the topic.

The question is: "Why don't you go see that movie, people say it's a great film . . . what are you, homophobic?"

If you want the politically correct answer, I don't want to see this movie because it degrades and slanders the institution of family. I've read plenty on how Ang Lee has used his director skills to show a sharp contrast between the happy life and comfort that the cowboys feel when with eachother (the open fields, running water, sunshine), and the dark and dreary, often depressing and suffocating world of heterosexual family burden. Like or dislike the movie, this contrast is obvious. Now I can't speak for Lee, so whether he did this to create a foil for homosexuality to show how it can be a beautiful and fulfilling life, or whether he did this to show how family life isn't all it's cracked up to be, I can't say. But the message is clear. Family, home, parental responsibility, loyalty, love: all these are called into question by the film and shown in a hateful light, and because of that, whatever love story he is trying to show is tainted to me and unappealing.

If you want the real, more dominant answer, here it is uncensored:

The world has gotten into this mindset that tolerance and blind, unquestioning acceptance are the same thing. Gay people exist, and they should be allowed to exist, and anyone who tries to take away their rights or slanders them or alienates them is wrong. But just because you tolerate something doesn't mean you have to agree with it. To me, as a straight man, homosexuality is . . . let's say "weird". Every fiber of my being tells me that it is: philosophically, religiously, logically, spiritually, genetically. Every pool of information and insight available to me tells me its unnatural. I'm not saying anyone is going to burn in hell, I'm not saying to deport them, I really don't care what they do but it does make me uncomfortable. But for people to stand up and point a finger at you, or anyone for that matter, because watching two guys kiss eachother grosses them out is ridiculous and unfair. Gay people have a right to be with eachother, so don't I have a right to not want to watch? Isn't that what America is supposed to be about, respecting people? If it was my choice, every hand gun in America would be off the streets, but I recognize the rights of Americans to have them and only hope that we do more as a society to make gun ownership safer. Is that wrong of me to think guns are bad when I tolerate their existence?

Let me draw a very crude but strong parallel, and please don't be offended if you fall into this category. If Ang Lee made a movie about the passionate struggle for romance of two morbidly obese cowboys, who fell in love, and used visually powerful scenes of fat people naked and making love, you'd be grossed out (if you want to say you wouldn't be, then I think you should search the internet and try to stomach some of the weird fetish stuff that I'm sure exists out there), and on top of that he makes thin or physically fit people look like hateful, taunting pricks who do nothing but work out and choke the life out of those who don't exercise.

Now that, again, is a movie I wouldn't want to see. Fat people obviously have every right to fall in love and be happy. Hell, a love scene like that, while strange and unsettling to me, would logically be more natural then a homosexual one. Ask yourself a simple question: do you think this movie would be as popular if Ang Lee had used unattractive and perhaps overweight actors?

So yes, watching two men make out grosses me out, and two men finding love isn't an interesting topic to me, and a crucifixion of heterosexual love and family values doesn't seem like my cup of tea. Look up the word "homophobic" sometime and tell me if I'm infringing on anyone's rights by saying this, or if I'm making preconceived judgments about others and shutting the door on them.

You know, Spanish speaking people existed before America found out from the Latin music craze, and gay people were always there, even before you watched an episode of "Will and Grace". This cultural fad will pass, and ten years from now you won't even remember or care about who went to go see "Brokeback" and who didn't.

If you want to sit and preach acceptance, make sure you're not the one to preach to first.